14. The Exploited and Anti-Pasti - Don't Let 'Em Grind You Down (EP)

 

Two weeks at number one from 19th December 1981

The final indie chart number one of 1981, and now the Standard garden firework has been lit at our New Years Eve party, let’s make sure all our dogs and cats are locked inside. Then we can stand around to admire the tiny white fountain of sparks, the pathetic razz it emits and hold our noses at the accompanying eggy smell. In another dimension, we could have done better than this. We could have had Catherine Wheels at least.

In some ways, this is arguably the most appropriate way to finish the year, given the manner in which second wave punk has dominated the charts; whether you appreciate the artists or not, it feels apt that they should don the final Christmas crown. In other respects, it shows that for all the ideas of purity people had about the indie sector in 1981 (and still have now) it doesn’t necessarily follow that everyone operating within it was a kind soul - for make no bones about it, this is a deeply shoddy product.

Side one of the EP consists of some hastily recorded live tracks by The Exploited, which are of a listenable bootleg quality, a valid experience for hardcore fans only. Both tracks rant and rave about the police force and what a shower of bastards they are, but the lyrics are so inaudible that I doubt any of the boys in blue bothered to note them on a special branch file anywhere; even the most dedicated inspector would have given up on that job after the third listen.

Side two is just a couple of 1980 demos recorded by Anti-Pasti which are better, but rough and ready and clearly outline sketches rather than completed efforts. They churn and chug away a bit and sod off with a shrug.

“But what could be more punk rock than such a rough around the edges artefact, showing the bands with no frills attached?” I hear you protest, and that was probably precisely the defence of their ex-manager who had these recordings and released them without seeking either group's permission. The fact it offered four tracks by two cult bands with dedicated fanbases probably made it seem like value for money, and helped it get to number 70 in the national charts during the peak Christmas market – but it’s a grim reminder that even the supposedly fair-minded world of punk could fall victim to music business sleight-of-hand.

This EP is officially deemed a bootleg on Discogs these days, and therefore unavailable for sale there. This also probably makes it the only live bootleg, unsanctioned by the group in question, to make it into the official national charts. An interesting achievement but one I doubt anyone celebrates.

It also begs a lot of questions about how many of these high placed second wave punk records were being bought because people had heard them and liked them, or whether in some cases the purchases were fuelled by fanbase loyalty. A few of the lesser indie chart entries in 1981 – most of which I’ve happily side-stepped - have been grim, joyless and murkily produced listens, and while it’s not my place to take the fogeyish position of arguing that nobody could actually have enjoyed them, some have been so stymied by a lack of energy or even convincing anger that it’s been hard to understand who they were made for.

There will be more of this stuff to come in 1982, including, very shortly, material by a band who made an explosive entry to the scene only to quickly fade away again, but this is a bit of a dispiriting full-stop to 1981. 

And the bands? Neither The Exploited or Anti Pasti would have any more indie number ones. The Exploited continued throughout the eighties amidst a number of chaotic line-up changes and remain active to this day, whereas Anti Pasti ceased activities after their second, more mature album "Caution In The Wind" failed to reach the national charts (unlike its predecessor). 

Away From The Number One Spot

The Fire Engines “Big Gold Dream” enters the top ten in style, a confusing ragbag of hypnotic organ sounds, sweet female harmonies and some more agitated funky rhythms. Turn your back on this one for a few seconds and it’s off in a new direction again, a slippery and likeable sound.




During the second week of the Exploited's reign Crass also entered with their “Merry Crassmass” EP, a stunt consisting of a Casio keyboard medley of Christmas carols backed with a similar medley of Crass classics. The band announced a competition on the sleeve which made their feelings very clear on the band at number one:
“SUPER FUN TIME COMPETITION THAT EVERYONE CAN JOIN IN. HERE’S WHAT YOU DO… IT’S EASY. JUST LIST, IN ORDER, THE TITLES OF THE EXCITING CRASS SONGS ON THIS RECORD. THE FIRST THREE CORRECT POSTCARDS TO BE RECEIVED WILL BE SENT THE FOLLOWING GREAT PRIZES… 1ST PRIZE… BATHSALTS, 2ND PRIZE… ONE EXPLOITED SINGLE, 3RD PRIZE… TWO EXPLOITED SINGLES. HAVE FUN.”

The Exploited were no more amused by this than the presence of their own bootleg at number one. It also has to be said, anarchic stunts and anti-meat eating polemic on the sleeve aside, there was no real reason to own this one either. Even the “Country House” and “Roll With It” war of 1995 was more interesting than this.




Otway and Barrett also entered with the unforgettably stupid “Headbutts”, which was surely the inspiration for the theme to late-night low-budget nineties show “Get Stuffed”, or – judging by the super low budget camcorder promo video – perhaps the entire idea was heavily borrowed. “Headbutts” only climbed to number 13 on the indie chart but is probably one of the finer punk parodies, the “Give Him A Flower” of its era.




Eek A Mouse also enters the charts with the festive reggae number “Christmas a Come” - a more chilled accompaniment to your post-dinner spliff you’re unlikely to have.

The charts are available in full at the UKMix Forums. 

Number One In The Official Chart

Human League - "Don't You Want Me" (Virgin)