Four weeks at number one from 25th April 1987
However, everything seemed cursed from the off. At the aborted sessions for the single in December 1986, Morrissey declared himself ill and only Shaw turned up. She was dismissive of the song, calling it “horrid”, and was slightly reluctant to play second fiddle as a backing vocalist. She spoke to Morrissey on the phone and demanded that he sing down the telephone line what he wanted her to do, and he obliged, but the session was deemed unworkable and ultimately scrapped.
Stephen Street later picked up the pieces and produced the version which was released, which might be one of the oddest singles The Smiths put out. The tumbling, thumping intro with its honking brass, almost sounding like a factory klaxon, makes it seem as if we’re in for another “Panic”, only for it to suddenly and inexplicably start to do musical high kicks, like an aborted show-tune (it’s rather like Madonna’s “Hanky Panky” or Geri Halliwell’s “Look At Me” in that respect). Just when you think it might deviate from this path and explore different avenues, it sticks fairly rigidly to the concept and even leans into it towards the end – “You’re a girl and I’m a boy/ la la la la la la la la la!” sings Morrissey at the end, beaming towards the imaginary West End theatre audience before him (I suspect this bit might have been written with Shaw’s contributions in mind).
It wasn’t the first time The Smiths had created something which sounded as if it might work in a musical. “Ask” had its moments too, but it was never such a constant, unending feature of the track. Nor had Morrissey ever written lyrics which felt so much like a parody of a sixties Tin Pan Alley tune – with the exception of “boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear”, the song is filled with fairly cliched imagery which feels almost tossed-off. The thunder and swing of the group’s backing helps it to achieve a small amount of heft, but there’s an incessant and deeply unSmithsian sugariness to the rest of the contents – an overwhelming taste of honey which gloops down your gullet and dominates your tastebuds in an unwelcome way for the rest of the afternoon.
Behind the scenes, the first obvious signs that all was not well in The Smiths were beginning to make themselves known to those outside their camp. Brixton Academy had been booked for the filming of a promotional video, but Morrissey refused to show up for the filming, resulting in a significant waste of money and a promo-free song. Given that he failed to turn up for the first recording session as well, a certain pattern was clearly establishing itself which continues to this day – Morrissey the diva hiding under the duvet whenever obligation knocks. Johnny Marr would not tolerate this for long.
You could also argue that “Sheila” stylistically fits in with his solo material better than The Smiths catalogue, given that its daffy, showy sensibilities feel akin to his moments of levity there – neither “You’re The One For Me, Fatty” or “Certain People I Know” fit neatly alongside “Everyday Is Like Sunday” or “November Spawned A Monster”, but they’re in his discography nonetheless, those attempts to impress the ghost of sixties pop impresario Larry Parnes with bits of easy-to-swallow rock and roll. “Sheila” has that same breezy flexibility and is as family friendly as a tub of Peak Freans biscuits, but something feels very wrong here; the song is catchy, jolly, and has a spirited glam charge, but the melody feels more like an adland jingle for a carpet warehouse than a proper pop song.
Johnny Marr disagreed, however, being proud of the track and regarding the use of the brass on the single as being “subversive” – “like Mott The Hoople being played by the Salvation Army Band”. The Great British public also disagreed, pushing the single up to number ten and giving The Smiths only their second national top ten hit, although notably its popularity isn’t quite so pronounced in modern-day streaming figures.
For me, though – and especially after I’ve written nearly ten thousand other words about much better Smiths records for this blog - it’s a single which isn’t worth wasting too much energy on. I’m tempted to argue that Sandie Shaw’s initial assessment is almost correct. It’s not “horrid”, but nor is it particularly substantial; Marr and the rest of the group do a grand job of throwing their shoulders behind something very casual and lightweight, and ultimately rather boring. Whatever adjectives you might have thrown at The Smiths before this single, that word wouldn’t usually have come into play.
New Entries Elsewhere In The Charts
9. The Flatmates - Happy All The Time (Subway)
Peak position: 5
The Flatmates sound much sharper and more confident here. "I Could Be In Heaven" sounded slightly cheap and rushed, whereas "Happy All The Time" has all the hallmarks of something which might have been a hit had it been issued eight years previously. It's a thrilling confection of 60s girl group sounds colliding with the dumb aggression of The Ramones, and the squeals and yelps throughout the single sound every bit as spontaneous and unplanned as Ray Davies' yelling on "You Really Got Me". It's the sound of a band totally thrilled to be getting their ideas down on tape, and that's a contagious feeling.
None of this would have the same effect if "Happy All The Time" weren't, as they say, a Tune. And it is. Like the best Indiepop, it has raw enthusiasm and a superbly hooky melody. These are the moments which make you want to form a band yourself. You feel like you could do it too, but tracks this deceptively simple and hook-ridden are actually harder to create than they seem.
19. A House - Kick Me Again Jesus (RIP)
Peak position: 19
Debut entry for Dublin group A House who manage to sound more solid and passionate here than many of the bands around them who had putting records out for years. “Kick Me Again” rattles and rollicks with vim and gusto, having an unresolved angst which places it not a million miles away from James during their Factory years. John Peel was quick to take note, and before long the group would gain a much stronger profile.
26. The James Taylor Quartet - Blow Up (Re-Elect The President)
Peak position: 12
The Prisoners keyboard player James Taylor picks up Herbie Hancock’s theme tune to the sixties cult flick “Blow Up” and squeaks and buzzes like a madman throughout it. If the original track featured only subtle touches of electric organ, this one pulls focus and shoves the guitarists into the backroom out of the way, turning it into a proper, smoky bar-room freak-out.
So good is it, in fact, that it’s become impossible for me to listen to the original version anymore. This is more muscular, more driving, and less afraid to zap and pow its way around your stereo, whereas the original sees itself as some neat theme music and nothing more. Tremendous.
The track is also both behind and ahead of its time. The Prisoners were an eighties approximation of a garage/ mod band whose moment in the underground spotlight seemed to have faded slightly by this point, as the public turned their heads to the future and not the past. However, the shuffle and swagger and the electric organ grooves here also pointed very definitely towards a certain strand of Baggy/ Madchester act who also slowly morphed out of the Paisley patterned underground. Watch this space.
27. The Band Of Holy Joy - Rosemary Smith (Flim Flam)
Peak position: 27
Week Two
3. All About Eve - Our Summer (Eden)
Peak position: 2
From the moment All About Eve began putting out vinyl, there was a sense that they were never going to be underground for terribly long, and the only surprise is that they weren't bigger. Appealing to goths, hippies, twee indie-kids and Q readers alike with their earliest, paisley-patterned and carefree material, they grabbed hearts left, right and centre. In fact, when my Mum first heard me playing this very track, she declared "Who's this? They sound really good!" and I ended up taping it for her.
Having a lead singer like Julianne Regan harmed matters none. Her impressive voice harked back to long-lost, warm folk rock stylings, a sound highly absent from the mainstream in the eighties. They combined with the group's considered arrangements to a powerful effect, and she possessed a very floaty, casual charisma too (a letter-writer to Record Mirror once announced his fantasies about going on picnics with her - a somewhat unusual thing to declare to the world, but you could just about understand his angle).
"Our Summer" is an early indie release which has their sound firmly in place already, and received a largely positive critical pass despite some clearly unfashionable mid-seventies influences shining through. Later when they signed to Phonogram, they would find mixed critical receptions emerging despite continuing to record much the same style of material. For a while in 1987, though, they could do little wrong.
18. World Domination Enterprises - Hotsy Girl (Product Inc)
Peak position: 18
World Domination Enterprises felt as if they left a larger imprint on rock culture than their sales would suggest – their single “Asbestos Lead Asbestos” was referenced by Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine in their track “Rubbish” and later covered by Meat Beat Manifesto.
Their sound was generally an uneasy and volatile mix of hip-hop, industrial, punk and abrasive bursts of noise, rarely attempting to sweeten the punch. “Hotsy Brew” is, as these things go, a fairly typical example – chants and scrapyard rhythm patterns dominate, with melody a secondary consideration; like a polar opposite of seventies glam, where the punchy, pulsing rhythms take place in a scrapyard filled with rodents rather than a sparkling television studio.
Peak position: 18
World Domination Enterprises felt as if they left a larger imprint on rock culture than their sales would suggest – their single “Asbestos Lead Asbestos” was referenced by Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine in their track “Rubbish” and later covered by Meat Beat Manifesto.
Their sound was generally an uneasy and volatile mix of hip-hop, industrial, punk and abrasive bursts of noise, rarely attempting to sweeten the punch. “Hotsy Brew” is, as these things go, a fairly typical example – chants and scrapyard rhythm patterns dominate, with melody a secondary consideration; like a polar opposite of seventies glam, where the punchy, pulsing rhythms take place in a scrapyard filled with rodents rather than a sparkling television studio.
19. Shelleyan Orphan - Anatomy of Love (Rough Trade)
Peak position: 5
20. The Brilliant Corners - Brian Rix (SS20)
Peak position: 12
There was a creeping sense that Brilliant Corners really weren't taking this business quite so seriously anymore. They began to possess a fine line in catchy tunes and daft wordplay, and "Brian Rix" is as sharp and witty as a Half Man Half Biscuit record, whilst having the jangle-pop richness and sweetness of a Smiths track.
"We fumbled around in front of the budgie/ she started to laugh/ what was so funny?" enquires singer David Woodward, before the chorus informs us "It's just you remind me of Brian Rix/ When you pull down your trousers it sends me in fits". This is one of the finest lyrical couplets indiepop has ever produced, and certainly one of the most enduring. The vision of the couple in a suburban living room awkwardly fiddling with their clothes is immediately apparent. Teen angst? The Razorcuts mope around it, whereas The Brilliant Corners trip over it unawares and turn it into an Ealing comedy.
Brian Rix, famed for his comedic farces, liked the single enough to appear briefly in the video for it (which confusingly uses a slightly stripped back version of the track - you can hear the released version here). Chart history wasn't made despite his helping hand, but the video appeared on "The Tube" and "The Chart Show" and further bolstered the band's reputation.
"We fumbled around in front of the budgie/ she started to laugh/ what was so funny?" enquires singer David Woodward, before the chorus informs us "It's just you remind me of Brian Rix/ When you pull down your trousers it sends me in fits". This is one of the finest lyrical couplets indiepop has ever produced, and certainly one of the most enduring. The vision of the couple in a suburban living room awkwardly fiddling with their clothes is immediately apparent. Teen angst? The Razorcuts mope around it, whereas The Brilliant Corners trip over it unawares and turn it into an Ealing comedy.
Brian Rix, famed for his comedic farces, liked the single enough to appear briefly in the video for it (which confusingly uses a slightly stripped back version of the track - you can hear the released version here). Chart history wasn't made despite his helping hand, but the video appeared on "The Tube" and "The Chart Show" and further bolstered the band's reputation.
23. Close Lobsters - Never Seen Before (Fire)
Peak position: 14
If there was ever a band who were inappropriately cursed with the C86 tag - in Britain, at least - it was Close Lobsters. Rather like their labelmates The Blue Aeroplanes, their approach was considerably more quirky and arthouse than it was twee or shambling, and perhaps unsurprisingly they picked up a greater volume of critical appreciation (and airplay) in the USA than this country. It's very easy to imagine them being spun on college radio between REM, 10,000 Maniacs and Wall of Voodoo.
"Never Seen Before" is a faintly peculiar brew and definitely an acquired taste. Jangly guitars collide with drawled vocals and beefy basslines, and they ultimately sound like nobody apart from themselves. The backwards tape playing at the end of the track is a lovely touch as well.
24. King Sun - D Moët - Hey Love (Rhythm King)
Peak position: 10
25. The Wolfgang Press – Big Sex EP (4AD)
Peak position: 25
Week Three
6. Depeche Mode – Strangelove (Mute)
Peak position: 3
In which Depeche return with a song which feels both anthemic and yet subtle; a slightly peculiar trick to pull off. The primary hook lies not in the chorus but the dramatic alarm call of the keyboard riff that opens the track and occurs throughout, while Dave Gahan takes Gore’s lyrics about sadomasochism and parades around with them like some kind of American television evangelist. “Pain, will you return it? I’ll say it again! Pain!” he chants, thereby ensuring that “Strangelove” was never going to be as relatable to the pop kids as “See You” or even “People Are People”.
Alan Wilder’s arrangements sprinkle sunshine and glitter over Gore’s happy griminess, however, with airy synthetic washes, inquisitive but brief melodic lines and propulsive thuds preventing the song from seeming anything other than predictable. Not an obvious single to return with after a period of slight absence, but an underrated gem in their catalogue nonetheless.
Peak position: 10
25. The Wolfgang Press – Big Sex EP (4AD)
Peak position: 25
Week Three
6. Depeche Mode – Strangelove (Mute)
Peak position: 3
In which Depeche return with a song which feels both anthemic and yet subtle; a slightly peculiar trick to pull off. The primary hook lies not in the chorus but the dramatic alarm call of the keyboard riff that opens the track and occurs throughout, while Dave Gahan takes Gore’s lyrics about sadomasochism and parades around with them like some kind of American television evangelist. “Pain, will you return it? I’ll say it again! Pain!” he chants, thereby ensuring that “Strangelove” was never going to be as relatable to the pop kids as “See You” or even “People Are People”.
Alan Wilder’s arrangements sprinkle sunshine and glitter over Gore’s happy griminess, however, with airy synthetic washes, inquisitive but brief melodic lines and propulsive thuds preventing the song from seeming anything other than predictable. Not an obvious single to return with after a period of slight absence, but an underrated gem in their catalogue nonetheless.
14. The Rosehips – Room In Your Heart EP (Subway)
Peak position: 7
Unashamed and raw indiepop from Stoke On Trent. The Rosehips were one of the few underproduced and undisciplined C86 adjacent groups to make hay in the 1987 NME Indie Chart, and this EP freely displays their notable upsides and their clear downsides.
In the “pro” corner; an effervescent rush, innocent pop sensibility, and some sharp melodies. On the “drawback” blackboard; their musical imperfections sometimes grate, and the samey nature of their ideas begins to bore even over a mere ten-and-a-half minutes. A major (and rather unacknowledged) cult act for this period, though.
17. Batfish Boys - The Bomb Song (Batfish Inc.)
Peak position: 17
19. The Lorries - Crawling Mantra (Red Rhino)
Peak position: 5
Red Lorry Yellow Lorry briefly using a more sensible name, presumably after some music business insider told them that naming yourself after a whacky tongue-twister then releasing singles as moody as this one wasn’t a great idea.
“Crawling Mantra” is possibly their finest single and probably deserved more than indie cultdom. It sticks to the same muddy, grinding dirt track the group seemed to love hauling their trucks through most, but has a distinct shuffle that’s almost groovy and a chorus that almost passes for infectuous. Seldom did the group make you want to swing your hips, but this is almost sassy grind through gothville which invites repeated plays.
28. Frank Sidebottom – Frank Sidebottom Salutes The Magic Of Freddie Mercury And Queen (In Tape)
Peak position: 28
Whereas this is only good for a couple of plays before the joke wears thin, but what plays they are.
Little more needs to be said about Frank Sidebottom; a showbiz legend for inky music press (and computer game magazine) readers whose chaotic, child-like zaniness was essentially one very sharp and strange joke taken to a multitude of different places. Sidebottom here covers Queen in an inept childish way, but throughout his career would tackle The Fall, Nik Kershaw, Rolf Harris, The Sex Pistols, Laurie Anderson and anyone else who happened to be under his seemingly permanently blocked up nose.
Frank’s initial batch of releases were surprisingly put out by EMI who saw some mileage in this unlikely star, but by the end of 1986 they clearly understood they were never going to get the novelty hit they wanted, and he ended up on the more cash-strapped independent label In Tape. Not that it mattered – the more budget you gave Frank, the less funny he was, and the indie sector allowed him all the lo-fi hi-jinks he needed.
Little more needs to be said about Frank Sidebottom; a showbiz legend for inky music press (and computer game magazine) readers whose chaotic, child-like zaniness was essentially one very sharp and strange joke taken to a multitude of different places. Sidebottom here covers Queen in an inept childish way, but throughout his career would tackle The Fall, Nik Kershaw, Rolf Harris, The Sex Pistols, Laurie Anderson and anyone else who happened to be under his seemingly permanently blocked up nose.
Frank’s initial batch of releases were surprisingly put out by EMI who saw some mileage in this unlikely star, but by the end of 1986 they clearly understood they were never going to get the novelty hit they wanted, and he ended up on the more cash-strapped independent label In Tape. Not that it mattered – the more budget you gave Frank, the less funny he was, and the indie sector allowed him all the lo-fi hi-jinks he needed.
29. June Brides – The Peel Sessions (Strange Fruit)
Peak position: 22
Week Four
21. The Wishing Stones - New Ways (Head)
Peak position: 21
More gentle, sixties-inspired indiepop. “New Ways” sounds as if it could have been issued any time between 1966 and 1987, with its perky guitar riffs, dreamy, hushy vocals and steady beat. Of all the singles we’ve heard this week, it also offers vague hints to future trends – while its fragile style is very C86, the vocals and atmosphere begin to veer closer towards that thing we now know as baggy. It was coming.
25. Nitzer Ebb - Let Your Body Learn (Mute)
Peak position: 25
29. Mighty Mighty - Built Like A Car (Chapter 22)
Peak position: 12
Mighty Mighty drop the polite, considered indiepop for this single and really let rip in the chorus, making it sound almost like a sixties garage band having a rave-up. Still, though, the stretched, hiccupping vowels in the vocals as the track begins are pure Morrissey, and root the band firmly in eighties territory.
"Built Like A Car" is a sturdy sounding single, and yet another example of an indiepop group suddenly waking up and smelling the coffee and getting into a better recording studio to produce a brighter, leaner piece of work, perhaps in the expectations of bigger things (which, of course, subsequently never came).
Number One In The Official Charts
Madonna: "La Isla Bonita" (Sire)
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