Three weeks at number one from 2nd January 1988
What I wasn’t prepared for was the vocal support this single seemed to be get. In my mind, it’s always been one of the weakest New Order 45s – a strange cut from the tail end of one phase of their career, a stand-alone single which half-heartedly drifted mid-way into the 1987 Christmas charts and was then largely forgotten. I was so concerned I might have got it wrong that I took the unusual step of putting it on a playlist and listening to it again for a couple of weeks, living with it and trying to find a fresh way in. A fortnight later, I am still none the wiser.
It’s not that “Touched By The Hand Of God” doesn’t have some appeal to me. There’s a brightness, a burbling, grumbling charm right from the off, which ensures it’s truly not a bad single. The rhythm tracks rumble and the orchestral hits act as the fireworks every time Bernard Sumner sings “touched”, suggesting that he’s possibly not singing about a woman here, but potentially a drug. The synth lines slowly and airily drift skyward, creating a strange kind of electronic gospel feel (this stuff would become increasingly common across the board as 1988 progressed).
The problem is that once it sets out its stall, it barely progresses. The rhythm track is embedded from the first ten seconds, the central riffs are unyielding, and despite trying to convey the sensation of elation, it starts to give the impression of being stuck in a rut. A couple of Bluesky users also pointed out its similarities to mainstream synthpop, most specifically Ultravox – while New Order may have drifted close to these domains in the past, this is the first time it feels as if they’ve truly rooted themselves there.
It also put the group in the strange position of putting out another non-studio album single straight after “True Faith”. “Touched” sits as part of the soundtrack to Beth B’s black comedy film “Salvation!”, a film about a televangelist which was almost universally critically panned and appears to have fallen into a strange cultural oubliette since – I’ve never seen it myself, and if it’s mentioned at all these days it seems to be in reference to this one single and some New Order obscurities the soundtrack spawned (the album also contains their tracks “Salvation Theme”, “Sputnik”, “Let’s Go” and “Skullcrusher”).
Given their heavy involvement, a hit album should have been guaranteed despite the general disinterest in the film, but it sold poorly and left behind a series of New Order tracks which even fans seem strangely incurious about; though only “Hand Of God” itself offers anything more than instrumental decoration or ambience, so this is easily explained.
In the movie’s homeland of the USA, even “Touched By The Hand Of God” was afforded short shrift by their US label boss Quincy Jones, merely being designated B-side status on their next single. I would testily argue that’s where it belongs; the video of the band pretending to be MTV glam metallers is entertaining, and the song itself is not without a welcome, optimistic propulsion, but it’s still probably the weakest New Order single to date – which makes its number twenty chart position in the UK seem deeply unjust given the failure of true diamonds such as “Bizarre Love Triangle” and “Perfect Kiss” to even get into the Top 40.
Fairness doesn’t always come into chart positions, however, and just as the somewhat below par “Confusion” benefitted from its predecessor “Blue Monday” capturing the public imagination, so too “Touched…” was – er - touched by the halo effect of its slightly older brother “True Faith”. It’s strangely atypical of the new material New Order would eventually release the following year, and just acts as an off-cut which seems barely discussed nowadays; but sometimes, the meat on some of these butcher’s bones isn’t enough to chew on.
New Entries Elsewhere In The Charts
Week One
30. One Thousand Violins - If I Were A Bullet (Then For Sure I'd Find A Way To Your Heart) (Report)
Peak position: 30
In which One Thousand Violins dispense with catchphrases and sixties pastiches and discover sincerity. “If I Were A Bullet” finds itself strangely in tune with the new year as crooning vocals and soaring melodies meet psychedelic jangles. Key members would eventually form the eternally unlucky baggy combo The Dylans, and this single sounds like the first step towards that world – not so much bandwagon jumpers as stylistic front-runners, then.
Week Two
No chart published
Week Three
5. Depeche Mode - Behind the Wheel (Mute)
Peak position: 3
The remixed single version of “Behind The Wheel” turns a hushed, trundling and faintly creepy album track into an Acid House friendly, ecstasy-addled evocation to sexual intercourse.
It’s always been one of the oddest (and weakest!) singles in Depeche Mode’s catalogue, and a strange track to lift from “Music For The Masses” (either “Sacred” or “Nothing” would surely have served better). Despite this, the harsh and uneventful January blues ensured that its strange, chorus-free, twittering drone managed a place within the national Top 40. Nobody could have accused them of doing the obvious thing at this point, and if nothing else, its dreamy, hypnotic backbone made it perfect for remixes.
17. Various - Pusmort Sampler EP (Pushead)
Peak position: 17
A six-track US hardcore punk sampler which managed to breach the UK indie charts on import during a relatively quiet period.
By the time this was released, the San Francisco based Pusmort label was already halfway through its life, serving a keen audience of skate kids, punks and disaffected US youth in general. It helped launch the career of the legendary Poison Idea (not included here), pushed the brilliantly uncompromising Extreme Noise Terror on to North American audiences, gave Final Conflict space to put out records, and generally acted as a not particularly profitable outlet for the kind of abrasive rackets UK audiences had largely grown tired of. Whereas in the US punk only began to pick up steam in the eighties, here in the UK it had already reached its pinnacle the decade before.
The cheapness of the package and the allure of exotic American products on import clearly helped this record to sell in higher numbers than punk records were generally managing by this point. And also – skate kids. British skaters were always going to buy American punk records over anything their home country’s labels might have been pumping out.
For the full charts, please go to the UKMix Forums
Number One In The Official Charts
Pet Shop Boys - Always On My Mind (Parlophone)
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is A Place On Earth (Virgin)
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