79. The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again (Rough Trade)

One week at number one from 7th June 1986

“I'm not going to drag people down anymore. Everybody within this curious profession has to do their own thing, however obnoxious that may be. And nothing I can say is going to change that. Besides, I've too many enemies. It's quite distressing. It's a bit of a strain because one is welcome almost nowhere. I don't want to go to parties or go skiing with Spandau Ballet or anything but still it's become quite tiresome, this constant barrier of hate.” - Morrissey, Smash Hits, January 1985

“We're still at that stage where if I rescued a kitten from drowning, they'd say: 'Morrissey Mauls Kitten's Body'. So what can you do?" - Morrissey – NME, June 1986.

The Smiths opened 1985 with their signature single “How Soon Is Now?”, but it was a peculiar and somewhat understated year for them otherwise (certainly in singles chart terms). “Shakespeare’s Sister”, that odd stepchild of a single, arguably over-performed sales-wise, but “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore” failed to reach the Top 40 at all, and despite its exquisite warmth, the return-to-form effort “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side” didn’t push them back into the Top 20 either.

It’s impossible for us to guess at how Morrissey truly felt about his continued role as an antagonist and tormentor of the old New Romantics, although I suspect he privately enjoyed it; in other words, I’m reading the two quotes at the start of this entry as being so tongue in cheek that they’re in danger of disfiguring the side of his face. The Smiths were the kings of the IPC music press, adored by most of the groups in their royal orbit, and Morrissey was frequently overly generous with praise where his direct peers were concerned (unless you truly believe Raymonde, Easterhouse and Terry & Gerry were cruelly overlooked superstars at the time). The people he reserved his tongue-lashings for were the Proper Pop Stars – the beautiful boys and girls in Smash Hits who were unlikely to be backstage at a Smiths show. Slagging off Modern Romance and Duran Duran must have been a fairly risk-free endeavour, rather than making Morrissey the Larry David of rock.

What undoubtedly hurt Morrissey, however, was his status as a mere cult figure. It’s addressed on “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side”, and his continued complaints about the group’s fringe status in interviews are notable. There was never a hint of staged angst, nor frequently any clever wordplay, when he came to the subject of the group’s marginal status in interviews. Despite the success of the “Meat Is Murder” album, Morrissey was not one to ignore the importance or the cultural impact of the singles chart or daytime radio play. Why be Al Stewart when you could be Marc Bolan?

Or even – why be T Rex when you could be The Rolling Stones? The groundwork for “Bigmouth Strikes Again” was laid by Johnny Marr whose initial riff was inspired by “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” before the lyrics were handled by Morrissey. It’s the first single since “William, It Was Really Nothing” to have a significant spike to it, a brio and a hook which screams in your face. Morrissey plays the wounded victim, but this time it’s very clearly for comedic effect. In fact, the lines “Sweetness I was only joking when I said/ By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed” are almost too obvious, too try-hard – a protesting wail from an end-of-pier farce. The follow-up lines “Now I know how Joan of Arc felt/ As the flames rose to her Roman nose/ And her Walkman started to melt” are better, showing that however immediate “Bigmouth” wanted to be, he still had a keen sense of the absurd.

Behind him, Marr and the group play furiously. Marr’s guitar lines are an intricate, speedy rush as always, but it’s Mike Joyce who has one of the best moments on the record – the staccato rattling of his drums during the instrumental break sounding (unintentionally?) like the soundtrack to Billy Liar imagining himself machine-gunning another foe.

In fact, the whole damn thing is very Billy Liar-esque, Morrissey setting himself up as a comedic stooge rather than a wounded artiste – it suits him surprisingly well to be the self-parodying foil to the track as opposed to the unrecognised genius. The song itself, meanwhile, hammers and smashes in a way which almost recalls the height of glam rock.

It all adds up to a single which is often highlighted as a group best; a clear corker, an alt-pop classic. For me personally, it has all the right ingredients and make the right moves, but still sounds too much like an attempt to pen an “obvious single”. A friend of mine used to attend Smiths club nights in London and would regularly sneer when “Bigmouth” leaked out of the PA, saying to his companions “Go and dance to your A-side if you must”. He was taunting in an arch way Morrissey would probably approve of, but he also nailed the song’s only flaw – it sounds like a dancefloor sweetener for people who aren’t necessarily Smiths fans. Every significant group has one of these songs somewhere in their body of work, and The Smiths arguably have a few more than most (we’ll be getting on to another significant one in due course). What you make of them probably depends hugely on your mood or general temperament.

Oddly though, Rough Trade didn’t actually see it as the “obvious single” in their 1986 material, and wanted to opt for “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” instead. It’s impossible to say whether that would have fared better, but for now, “Bigmouth” seemed to act as more fuel in the group's tank. It didn’t reach the top twenty of the official charts, but gave them a loud, brash platform to build on and the rest of 1986 saw them taking huge advantage of it.

New Entries Elsewhere In The Charts

26. The Cramps - Kizmiaz (New Rose)

Peak position: 24

In which The Cramps sound uncannily like some popular sixties beat group penning a cusp-of-1967 novelty B-side. “Kizmiaz” is made to sound like an exotic Eastern location, but of course is simply an invitation to kiss the bottom of Lux Interior, not take some magic mushrooms and ascend to a magical kingdom (although to his mind, the two situations were probably equally appealing).

It’s surprisingly Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich in its stylings, actually – and it’s twice I’ve mentioned that group on this blog now, and I wasn’t even expecting to reference them once. Lovers of popsike exotica will find much to snigger at here, and that’s not an audience The Cramps typically catered for. The jokes were running thick and fast in this week’s chart.

28. Alien Sex Fiend - I Walk The Line (Flicknife)

Peak position: 28

This may on first appearance have been early appreciation for Johnny Cash from the gothic crowd – were it not, of course, for the fact that this isn’t Cash’s “I Walk The Line” after all. Instead, it’s an angry techno-snarl where the group warn us what a bunch of depraved animals they are. “I’m already in the gutter – next stop it’s the DRAIN!” we’re told.

Like a lot of Alien Sex Fiend records, it’s a bit boring actually, like Buxton out of the animated film “Dougal And The Blue Cat” repeating “I’m so, so evil!” over and over again. Yeah lads, we get it.

29. Blyth Power - Junction Signal (Hac)

Peak position: 8

I’m conscious of the fact that we’ve bypassed Blyth Power before, so let’s not make that mistake again for this indie top ten hit. There are very few other groups out there named after railway locomotives - although the short lived Southend concept band The Trainspotters, with songs such as “Cushy Number”, jokingly shared their passion (“You’ve got a cushy number/ working for British Rail/ you’ve got a cushy number/ can I have one as well”)

Consisting of ex-members of anarcho-punk groups Zounds and The Mob, both of whom we’ve touched upon before, Blyth Power took a much more commercial approach with their sound but have ultimately been a cult fringe concern ever since. “Junction Signal” does a superb job of highlighting not just their songwriting abilities, but their single-minded eccentricities – unless you’re listening to another Blyth Power song, it’s unlikely you’ll hear a trackside Junction Signal being used as a metaphor for life’s certainties (or lack of them). “It simply tells me when to stop and when to go/ And that's all that I need to be told” sings Joseph Porter joyously, celebrating one of life’s few dependable elements.

This was too much for most of the anoraks in the indiepop crowd, though. Stephen Pastel may have sung of trains, and some of his fans may have dressed like trainspotters, but “Junction Signal” isn’t flippant, and celebrates adult lapses into childhood interests too profoundly; the single also didn’t come in a twee sleeve, instead showing a black and white photo of heavy train wheels and steam. It’s probably the most serious song you’ll ever hear related to a hobby I’ve never participated in, but nonetheless it's an indie hit which does seem unfairly ignored. 

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Number One In The Official Charts

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