86. New Order - State Of The Nation (Factory)

Number one for four weeks from 27th September 1986

I don’t often delve into other people’s blogs or forum posts while researching for this site, purely because I don’t want to be unduly influenced by other people’s takes on these records. For “State Of The Nation”, though, I found myself sufficiently perplexed to want to scout around. It sometimes feels as if it’s the serviceable New Order single nobody has a strong opinion on one way or the other, their equivalent of “Lady Madonna” or “Heart” (cue the inevitable complaints from Beatles or Pet Shop Boys fans).

I uncovered nothing much at all during my scouting mission, apart from a few forum posts asking “Why does everybody hate ‘State of the Nation’?” during which nobody replied with anything negative at all, only expressing the view that they quite liked it. No-one seemed particularly compelled to jump in and scream that it was a blight on New Order’s catalogue, which made sense to me (I wasn’t previously aware that it was supposed to be).

Then I went over to my Last.fm profile to see how often I’d played it, and was a little bit surprised to see that it was my tenth most listened to New Order track – amazing since I couldn’t actually remember the last time I’d listened to it (if anyone cares, it’s marginally ahead of “True Faith”, “Perfect Kiss” and “Regret”, all singles I could have sworn I’ve spent more time with). Obviously the views of a few Internet randoms and my own listening habits are not a precise scientific study, but it does feel as if “State” – New Order’s seventh indie number one – has been strangely neglected, rarely (if ever) played by the group live since its year of release and allowed to drift into the background.

This is peculiar. Musically speaking, “State Of The Nation” is an enticing, though admittedly never quite exciting, mix of sweet and sour. The keyboard lines are filled with exotic pan flute noises while the guitars are distorted and scraping, sounding like a hailstorm falling on abandoned sheet metal. Rhythms twitch beneath all this, jitterbugging almost threateningly, and throughout the full six-and-a-half minutes on the twelve inch, they manage to stretch what seem like quite limited ideas out into interesting new shapes and destinations; say what you want about New Order but they were unbelievably bloody good at writing epic pop songs. Whereas most groups start to dawdle and repeat themselves after the third minute, they’re still bursting with fresh ideas in double that time.

The single seems to pick up the most criticism for its lyrics, and deservedly so. Sumner here feels as if he's delivering guide vocals camouflaged as social commentary; a dirty trick to play on the neurotic mid-eighties public. “My brother said that he was dead/ I saw his face and shook my head” he sings, almost disappointed rather than upset by the fact that his sibling was either literally or metaphorically deceased. “The state of the nation/ that’s holding our salvation” he informs us, before telling us it’s also “causing deprivation” (I always swear he sneaks “death inflation” in there somewhere as well, but that’s possibly just a long-standing misheard lyric of mine).

85. Depeche Mode - A Question Of Time (Mute)

One week at number one on 20th September 1986

By the time this reached the pinnacle of the indie charts, it had been over nine months since Depeche Mode had last been there. Their singles had once been considered shoe-ins for the top spot, their position a coronation rather than a competition, but things had changed since 1985 – the independent charts were now bustling with new life (no pun intended) from increasingly challenging forces.

Great news for lovers of music in 1986, who were feasting on all manner of new and exciting talent. Bad news for Depeche Mode fans, including me – I would have loved more of a chance to talk about “Black Celebration” on here, one of my favourite albums of all-time. While it's often been described as a left-hand turn following “It’s Called A Heart”, in reality there were hints all along. Depeche didn’t suddenly overhaul their sound so much as gradually grow out of their origins.

Despite this, “Black Celebration” can be heard as everything finally falling into place beautifully; it's filled with accomplished and stirring symphonic pop, delicate baroque synth lullabies and thundering disgust at modern life. Stuffed with obvious singles, however, it wasn’t. “Stripped” depended upon its expansive, gradually swelling arrangements rather than obvious golden hooks, and the closest thing to a traditional single, “A Question Of Lust”, was essentially mid-sixties Walker Brothers balladry with synthetic knobs on – a strange retro futuristic step which seemed to ultimately tickle neither the public nor their fans.

“A Question Of Time” was the last throw of the dice, and was also atypical of most Depeche Mode singles prior to this point. The central hook is a sampled guitar line (or at least, a guitar sound sampled and replayed through a synthesiser) which is almost rockist in its aspirations – a lick to punch your fist in the air to. The rhythm beneath it too is an ugly, churning sound, like an overloaded truck rattling along a dirt track. It’s not necessarily a novel step. It is, however, unexpected for this band, who usually preferred to pulse rather than grind.

Over the top of this, Gahan delivers Gore’s uncharacteristically rambling lyrics, which feel like an unvarnished rant about the sexual manipulation of young women. “I’ve got to get to you first” he declares, which sounds ominous (what for? He can’t lock her away, but any other potential readings of this lyric are unflattering to say the least) before clarifying later on “You’re only fifteen/ and you look good/ I’ll take you under my wing/ somebody should/ they’ve persuasive ways/ and you’ll believe what they say”. The song builds up to the pinnacle of its angst with the staccato delivery of the lines “It won’t be long until you do/ exactly what they want you to”, after which it gives up, feeling as if it can stretch itself no further, lets a snare beat introduce a second of silence, before starting all over again.

In my mind’s eye, Martin Gore is frothing mad and circling his study while writing these lyrics. They have moments of furious focus, but then also points where he circles around his own ideas frustratedly. “Sometimes I don’t blame them”, he shrugs at one point, then concludes “I know my kind/ what goes on in our minds”, which asks any male listener to assume that Gore thinks his mind (because it definitely is men being addressed here) works the same way as theirs – a common assumption among kinky men with bags of testosterone to spare. Guilt and shame drip off this record.

There are a number of interpretations you can put upon the lyrics here, and Gore has never been easily drawn on what inspired them. It feels plainly obvious that the drive behind their concern is the sexual manipulation of pretty teenage girls, though. There are whole chunks of the lyrics which sound paternal, with Gore acting as the doting, concerned father who knows his daughter’s period of innocence is likely drawing to a close. There are also possibly accidental parallels with tabloid imagery (The Sun ran a celebratory countdown to Emma Watson’s sixteenth birthday, a perverse idea which always reminded me of this song – a clock counting down before tabloid journalists decided they could afford to treat a young actress in a more titillating way). Of course, we also can’t ignore the possibility that Gore was writing about a young Depeche Mode fan he found attractive but knew he shouldn’t, and that she is the catalyst for the song’s concern. It would explain a lot, but if that’s the case, he’s perhaps wisely never said so.

The imagery of the fifteen year old’s childhood being destroyed by adult desires was revisited again on their next album “Music For The Masses”, with “Little 15” flipping the gender roles so instead of a girl, it’s a teenage boy being ushered around and used as a plaything by a woman. “Such a thing would never happen!” I hear you cry. Oh yes it bloody did, and presumably still does. Two bored housewives both embarked on liaisons with fifteen year old schoolboys on the very suburban cul-de-sac I grew up on, for the very reasons largely outlined in the song (“You help her forget the world outside”). The matter was largely hushed up but the community gossip did what it always does, and it was naturally the talk of the neighbours for many years after. Either Gore heard about this matter, which I deeply doubt, or it’s more common than we suppose (to note - I don't have all the details about these liaisons, so I've no idea if they truly crossed the line into abuse, but something strange was clearly afoot). 

83b The Mission - Garden Of Delight/ 84b The Smiths - Panic

Garden of Delight returns to number one for one week on 16th August 1986

Panic returns to number one for two weeks on 23rd August 1986

Garden of Delight rebounds to number one again for one week on 6th September 1986

Panic returns again for a further week on 13th September 1986

Have you absorbed all those chart facts above? Good. Rebound number ones were never unusual in the NME Indie Chart, but the dogfight between Morrissey and Hussey (speaking in sales terms, rather than literally) which occurred throughout the dying summer months of 1986 led to a confusing ping-ponging at the top rather than letting in any fresh blood.

It’s probably not worth saying much more about this beyond the fact that it might seem surprising that at this point, The Mission were such a big deal that they could compete easily with one of The Smiths biggest and most well known singles. They were managing to capture the imagination of a broader cross-section of the public than Hussey’s old band The Sisters of Mercy, and certainly other long-standing goth acts besides. 

Other than gesturing towards that fact, let’s take a peek lower down the charts.


Week One


21. Mighty Mighty - Is There Anyone Out There (Girlie)

Peak position: 11

“The summer brings out the best in girls and the worst in me” hollers singer Hugh McGuinness early on in this 45, before singing about suntanned legs being among his favourite things. The song is essentially a twee ditty about the typical loneliness of your average anorak wearing dork in 1986 rather than a perv-out, and its trilling, twanging melodies underline the innocence of the whole thing. Honest.

22. The Toy Dolls - Geordie's Gone To Jail (Volume)

Peak position: 15

This is an unexpected about-turn. The Toy Dolls' vocalist Olga generally bubbled and squeaked his way through their songs, but on this single the whole group let rip not only with something approaching a snarl from Olga, but also a roaring anthemic second wave punk chorus. 

It’s not clear who the Geordie is the group are referring to, except that he's going to jail even though he didn’t kill anyone – he’s also never taken any drugs “only penicilin when he’s got a headache”. The old novelty lightness of touch remains throughout this single, but I did find myself filling up with doubt and started hunting around to find out if there was actually a serious back-story here; it’s about as sincere sounding as The Toy Dolls get, even if that sincerity is only just on the right side of Tenpole Tudor. 

24. Poly Styrene - Gods & Goddesses EP (Awesome)

Peak position: 24

Poly Styrene of X Ray Spex emerging on the Awesome label (which was largely reserved for Danielle Dax products) might seem surprising but the whole thing not only does sound a bit like Dax, but also gels with Poly’s style unbelievably well. Lead track “Trick Of The Witch” is a giddy brew of heavy rock riffs, psychedelia, bubbling electronic pulses and Poly’s wide-eyed vocals. While her post X Ray Spex records are undeniably patchy, it’s hard not to have admiration for her ability to move forwards away from the constraints of punk rock; while some of the people from that scene continued to thrash away in 1986, Styrene dared to push forwards.

27. Demented Are Go - Holy Hack Jack (ID)


Peak position: 23


Week Two


17. Pop Will Eat Itself - The Poppies Say GRRrrr! (Desperate)

Peak position: 14

The Poppies second release is an oddly subdued recording, with lots of sweet, spritely melodies and only slightly distorted guitars in the mix. At this point, they were clearly trying to stay close to the C86 pack and hadn’t forged a clear identity of their own, and to that end it’s not a particularly impressive listen, whizzing unmemorably through your stereo speakers like the last demo your work colleague’s little teenage brother sent you. You can only nod encouragingly at the progress – they did become a much more brittle and modern group in very short order.

21. Yeah Jazz - This Is Not Love (Upright)

Peak position: 20

Kitchen sink indie drama from this market town (Uttoxeter) mob from Staffordshire, singing of unwanted teenage pregnancies and forced relationships in a manner which could have been either cloying or overly heavy-handed, but manages to strike the balance beautifully. Yeah Jazz use diverse instrumentation to colour the drama and tumultuous emotions in the lyrics, sounding impressively like early precursors to Belle and Sebastian in the process. The first genuinely surprising track I’ve heard for an age while researching this blog.

84. The Smiths - Panic (Rough Trade)

One week at number one on 9th August 1986

Oh God, do we really have to do this? ("Never begin blog entries expressing reluctance, it just puts readers off" – the ed in my head). At its time of release, “Panic” was one of the most-discussed and debated Smiths songs by fans, foes and journalists alike, and the reverberations from its release are still felt as writers continue to highlight this as the point where “Morrissey started to go wrong”. 

It’s a den of bears I don’t particularly want to walk into, especially as I doubt I’ll manage to sneak back out past Papa Bear with any kind of shiny prize. The cave is now damp and barren, with just a few cobwebs in the corner and the rotten bones of the last person to try and make sense of it all. Still, it slid into the number one indie spot with comfortable ease, so discuss it we must. Those are the rules (even if they are my own rules and nobody else's) and as much as I'm tempted to just post "Oh, fill in the blanks yourselves, why don't you" in giant 78pt Semplicità font, I hate the idea of cheating myself. So here we are. 

Lyrically speaking, “Panic” was supposed to be poking the mainstream establishment and setting up The Smiths as the slayers of mediocrity. Both Morrissey and Marr insisted that the point of inspiration for the record was Steve Wright on Radio One launching into Wham’s “I’m Your Man” immediately after news of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster broke. Listeners had potentially just been given information about a serious incident which may have a profound effect on their health – at the time the crisis occurred, nobody truly knew what the outcomes would be – but were then invited to party on down to an upbeat hit. Pop was being used, you could argue, as a diversionary tactic to keep national spirits up while lethal radioactivity drifted across the ocean (it’s interesting to contrast this with the way Radio One responded to Princess Diana’s death years later, but I digress).

The group’s response was immediate disgust, and the lyrics were apparently inspired by the situation*, although as numerous other people have pointed out, they actually focus their agitation on club DJs rather than radio ones. “Burn down the disco,” Morrissey states. “Hang the blessed DJ!/ because the music they constantly play/ it says nothing to me about my life”. Radio One doesn’t get a mention; rather, Morrissey seems to be jabbing his finger at the discotheques of the mid-eighties where people gathered at the weekends to get blitzed and forget their worries. How irredeemably shallow of them.

Journalists were quick to notice this and accuse Morrissey of racism, pointing out that his issue seemed to be with black music rather than daytime radio playlists. The group, and particularly Marr, were initially quick to challenge these allegations, pointing out that New Order, for instance, had no black members, but Morrissey helped matters little with other comments he made in interviews at this time. During a Melody Maker piece (which can be found online in full here, and is definitely worth a read) he opined:

“I don't think there's any time any more to be subtle about anything, you have to get straight to the point. Obviously to get on Top Of The Pops these days, one has to be, by law, black. I think something political has occurred among [television producer] Michael Hurll and his friends and there has been a hefty pushing of all these black artists and all this discofied nonsense into the Top 40. I think, as a result, that very aware younger groups that speak for now are being gagged.”

Morrissey had a tendency to grandstand and make inflammatory comments for effect, but this was a particularly dumb statement which defies many soft reinterpretations. For one thing, Top of the Pops was by its very nature a chart show, and favoured appearances by whoever was moving up the charts in any given week. On some weeks that may have caused more black artists to appear, but the programme invariably tended to feature the latest cute success stories with big money behind them; key exceptions like Prince and Michael Jackson aside, those tended not to be black (and let’s not get on to the topic of MTV, who had a serious allergy to any black artists at this time, whether they had hit singles or otherwise). What Morrissey seemed to be indulging here was the standard right-wing political trope of “seeing” blackness everywhere and drawing up imaginary race ratios in a disapproving fashion, interpreting any decrease in inequality as a threat to "his culture". When Reform UK politicians do the same thing today, Nigel Farage gets called upon to fire them.

If we want to be kind – although personally I don’t see why we should be – we can frame his comments in the light of some long-forgotten mid-80s culture wars, which did indeed see lots of fey young kids into guitar-based music feeling that the music they enjoyed was not being given a fair airing. I will concede that this is true, but it had little to do with them not being black. In the case of groups on minor indie labels, the low production values of their work instantly led to issues. There’s a parallel universe somewhere where Steve Wright thought Bogshed’s “Morning Sir” was hilarious – problematically though, its weak production values would have felt jarring and made it seem incompatible with the rest of his polished playlist that day, so even imagining something as simple as that is a huge reach. The eighties were about advancing technology and spit and polish, and indie was very often a reaction (intentional or otherwise) against that perfectly airbrushed world; incorporating its sound and ethics into daytime playlists would have caused endless stylistic issues. C86 operated under financial constraints Britpop seldom had to worry about. 

Away from the world of lo-fi kids with weird or big ideas, other storms were also brewing, particularly Stateside, which saw DJs and musicians producing increasingly groundbreaking and fascinating work; it’s always struck me as interesting that “Panic” was released the same year as Farley “Jackmaster” Funk’s “Love Can’t Turn Around”, the first single which truly made House music sound like a commercial, rather than purely clubland, force. One song is a series of would-be revolutionary slogans set to a retrograde glam rock beat, the other simply is sonically revolutionary, the eighties equivalent to “I Feel Love”.

In the middle of the eighties it was hard not to get the impression that rock music was possibly a dying force creatively and commercially, and that led to desperate statements from others too. “Keep Music Live” stickers began to appear more frequently on guitar cases. Music television featured members of supposedly radical bands bleating in interviews like weary war generals about the lack of passion and humanity to be found in samplers and drum machines. “Real” musicians got angry. Somewhere in Melbourne, the writer and satirist John Safran wore a Def Jam baseball cap on the tram, and a metaller removed it from his head, ripped it, and threw it to the ground, believing that anyone who approved of rap or hip-hop being mixed with metal was perverse and lucky not to be given a beating. These were strange, insecure times which provoked some frankly silly reactions which barely make sense today - apart from the nakedly racist ones, obviously, which remain a cultural issue. 

“Panic” was one of the more extreme examples. Lyrically, it’s not even consistent with Morrissey’s own beliefs – he seemed to have plenty of time for Northern Soul and Motown, both of which tended to produce not especially politicised works (obvious exceptions aside) – and nor is it consistent with human nature which requires art and entertainment which is joyous, frivolous and communal as well as study-bound and introspective. We cannot get all our emotional nourishment from Leonard Cohen records alone. Morrissey surely knew this, but despite this, the track can be heard as their ‘war effort’, The Smiths attempt to take sides to tell the world that they were above mere pop music. 

83. The Mission - Garden of Delight/ Like A Hurricane (Chapter 22)

One week at number one on 2nd August 1986

Two weeks after they vacated the indie number one spot with “Serpent’s Kiss”, The Mission returned again with this huge sounding double A-side. Rather than offering us further lumps of paisley rock, both “Garden” and “Hurricane” feel like wordy, skyscraping resignation letters to the independent sector from its latest breakout talent.

Listening to these again feels odd. While they were generally applauded by critics in a lukewarm fashion, The Mission were never given universal acclaim. There have also been very few revisions to that view since, meaning that almost all non-genre based lists outlining the best music of the eighties and nineties fail to mention their name. Subsequently, you find yourself stunned when revisiting their sudden rush of cult fame in 1986, which delivered two Top 75 singles on a relatively unestablished indie label (with this one even creeping into the top fifty). Viewing their promo video for “Serpent’s Kiss” recently, I was struck by just how playful it was, but also how much the band’s confidence over-rode the indie budget – The Stone Roses may have been arrogant sods, but their bleached-out cheapo promos didn’t contain even a grain of Wayne Hussey’s self-assuredness.

“Garden Of Delight” is the first single to really put that confidence across on vinyl. The Mission here don’t sound ‘indie’, they sound massive. Once again, Hussey tries to set himself up as the goth scene’s resident poet - “Revelation is laid, and reflects/ on the windswept liquid mirror/ of this breathless whirl, this happy death/ this elegance and charm” he declares, doubtless penning the words in elaborate, curvy purple ink – but rather than backing off uncertainly, the band around him rise to such towering declarations with the confidence of city stockbrokers. In particular, guitarist Simon Hinkler puts in another brilliant performance of complex jangles followed by uncertain, ascending tension (there’s a weird parallel universe somewhere where he never left Pulp, and they ended up making these noises instead).

For all that, though, it still sounds more like a music business calling card than an obvious single to my ears; the group offering something because it sounds big and important rather than a good candidate for a standalone 45. The inflated nature of it makes it sound like something that would appear towards the end of side one of an album rather than anything else – an end to the First Act and a sop to any wavering listeners assuring them that bigger, grander tunes were still to come.

The other A-side, a cover of “Like A Hurricane”, was given less airtime so far as I can recall, and is more along the lines you would expect, albeit having the kind of production you would anticipate from an established, successful American performer or group on their fifth or sixth album (and I did initially think Hussey was singing “You are like a hurricane/ there’s cum in your eye” rather than “calm”). Between its moments of arena pretension, though, there’s a gothic thunder in the basslines and drum patterns and Hinkler’s guitarwork moves from jangle to solid soloing and back again, acting as the focal point of interest when Hussey’s hollering gets a bit much.

For all that, I have to confess that I don’t really enjoy either side all that much. They did the job and The Mission were releasing records on a well-funded major label before the year was up, but there’s something about their grandness which I find cold and difficult, as if the group are high up on a platform, out of my eyeline and away from my lived reality, thundering on about the elements, decadence and death... but then again, I never was the type to be enticed by either aspiring Rock Gods or actual ones. 

The group clearly were, though. Following the release of this single, they became a major cult act and then, with their John Paul Jones produced number two album “Children” in 1988, moved extremely close to becoming the serious international mega-rock act “Garden Of Delight” seems to hint towards; no longer merely toying with Led Zeppelin imagery, they saw fit to get a member of that band to come in and guide them forwards.

Their appeal took a significant topple in the early nineties and by 1995 they were straight back to indieland again, Phonogram having lost patience with their big proposition. More of that when (and even if!) we get to that point, but it’s hard to resist quoting Andrew Mueller of Melody Maker’s review of their LP from that period, “Neverland” - “a stadium record that is never going to fill a theatre, a defiant gurgle on the way down the sinkhole”. Nine years is a bloody long time in rock music.

This ignores the fact that The Mission’s story prior to that point is actually a triumph, with large selling albums in Britain and significant, mid-chart cult sales abroad. The fact they’ve often been ignored in stories about eighties rock may be due to the fact that, even with the close calling “Tower Of Strength” on their side, they never produced a truly enormous anthem in the UK; indeed, they join the ignoble gang of bands who may have had scores of Top 40 hits, but never quite managed to edge into the top ten. 

82. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - The Singer (Mute)

Number one for one week on 26th July 1986

If anybody working for Columbia Records in 1968 thought Johnny Cash’s new track “The Folk Singer” had potential, they did little to invest in it. The big '68 hype where Cash was concerned was the release of his unprecedented “At Folsom Prison” live LP, where the man can be heard brewing up a storm while performing to a gaggle of assembled felons. The label were initially worried about the idea, fearing that it might cause Cash to lose some of his Christian audience, only for the album to become one of those near-perfect combinations of both quality and newsworthy novelty – something that almost marketed itself.

“Folsom Prison Blues” was released from the album as a single, and an ordinary studio recording of “The Folk Singer”, co-written with Charles E Daniels, was chosen to sit on the flip. It might then have rested there largely unnoticed, but Burl Ives was quick to spot its mournful charms, recording it for his album “The Times They Are A-Changin’” in the same year, staying broadly faithful to the concept. It’s a wordy yet – on the surface – fairly simple tale of a forgotten singer who finds himself suddenly ignored by a public who once wanted to crowd and pester him with their admiration. The singer’s inability to adapt to his new empty environment is broached early on (“I pass a million houses but there is no place where I belong/ All I knew to give you was song after song after song”) with typical Cash-esque hints at his outsider status. Whoever the 'singer' is, you're left pretty convinced that there's nothing else he can usefully do with his life. 

It’s not clear whether Cash was worried about his own future when he recorded it, but it’s not unfair to speculate that he might at least have been looking over his shoulder at those whose careers had been less successful, acknowledging that in the music business, longevity is often a fluke, not a given. Speculation online is rife about who he might have been thinking about, but the candidates are numerous; the tale of talented musicians, appreciated briefly when their talent peaked and happened to align with the public’s tastes, then rapidly forgotten, was not new even in 1968.

Above that, though, there are hints towards the growing invisibility of the older person in society, the slick young buck with his fresh ideas being reduced to a husk. As he wanders through streets he may have once been chauffeured through wearing his old fashioned clothes, he suddenly finds no eyes being drawn in his direction in either condemnation or admiration. His rebellion has become meaningless, and his only hope is that the children of the future reappraise his efforts – a problem that most creative people are left to desperately confront. 

The original arrangement is simple and nigh-on perfect, greeting the singer’s fate with subtle arrangements and gorgeous downwards guitar twangs, which might be why Burl Ives wasn’t tempted to tamper with it much. Glen Campbell, on the other hand, took the flipside and exposed it to peculiar degrees of sunshine in 1970 – his version is a sweet yet daring finger-picked, bitter-sweet melody, “the singer” still singing his heart out rather than moping and dragging his heels.

Nick Cave’s version in 1986 was somewhat unexpected, but takes the cautious Ives approach of “don’t fuck with a classic” rather than the more radical Campbell move. So similar is it, in fact, that the only major difference is that Cave throws in the f word towards the end, something even Cash would never have considered in ‘68. It makes “the singer” seem threatening, a Grim Reaper character pointing his finger at the comfortable and the ignorant, rather than a completely defeated outsider. Cave makes you think the singer will be back, if not due to reappraisal, then perhaps on the headline news for some act of public indecency. It shifts the tone of the work slightly, but not enough to make it feel like an overhaul.

“The Singer” was released at a time when Cave appeared to be repositioning himself as a performer. His earlier work with The Birthday Party was demented, raucous and deliberately niche – punk rock at its loudest and most unrelenting. Two minutes spent listening to a Birthday Party track could feel strangely exhausting, and in his public’s mind Cave was a ferocious performer and unpredictable loose cannon. Once that group ceased to be, the Bad Seeds were formed and his moves became more measured (though often no less ghoulish).

80b. The Mission - Serpent's Kiss (Chapter 22)

Two further weeks at number one from 12th July 1986

It's been awhile since we've seen a rebound number one on the NME Indie listings, but if you were settling comfortably in your seat expecting not to be interrupted again, you reckoned without the enduring popularity of "Serpent's Kiss". As soon as the already battle-weary "Almost Prayed" plummeted from the number one position, Hussey and co were ready to take back the throne again for a whole fortnight. 

As always, the only relevant question to ask at this point is "What was happening lower down the charts, then?"

Week One

13. Bogshed - Morning Sir! (Help Yourself)

Peak position: 4

Well, Bogshed pushed forward one of their best known singles for a start off. "Morning Sir!" is a delight and a curiosity in that it's one of the biggest and strangest hooks the indie chart saw in 1986, but the group lost none of their downright provocative oddness as a result. The chorus of "Morning Sir!" will stay in your brain for the rest of this week - indeed, I even thought about making it my mobile's alarm sound for a bit - but that doesn't stop the song as a whole from sounding warped, detuned, scuffed and discourteously kicked around. 

This is like modern-day skiffle if it were composed by village outcasts rather than handsome and clean-cut kids in Soho coffee bars which, in case you need telling, is a good thing. Suck on that, Terry and Gerry. 

20. Age Of Chance – The Twilight World Of Sonic Disco (Riot Bible)

Peak position: 20

The Age of Chance were rapidly getting closer to becoming one of the more "important" C86 acts, but at this stage, "Motor City" off the "Twilight World" EP shows no signs of them budging from their own tinny and uncompromising groove - it's stark, harsh and devilish, and as Steven E repeatedly urges "If you can get through my wall of sound" beneath the metallic beatings, it's hard not to hear it as a direct challenge to you, the listener. 

28. The Mekons - Hello Cruel World (Sin)

Peak position: 20

29. Hawkwind - Silver Machine (Samurai)

Peak position: 29

Week Two

14. The Creepers - Baby's On Fire (In Tape)

Peak position: 6

 

Marc Riley and his cohorts covering Brian Eno must have raised a few eyebrows in the old Fall camp at the time, with Mark E Smith doubtless opining that he was right to sack him. Nonetheless, in much the same way that his original group used cover versions as templates to scrawl their own impenetrable avant doodles over, The Creepers rip "Baby's On Fire" to pieces, making it somehow feel even more menacing as a caterwaul of sound builds up steadily with each instrumental break.

81. Weather Prophets - Almost Prayed (Creation)

One week at number one on 5th July 1986

To casual viewers of the indie charts and non-readers of the NME or Melody Maker, The Weather Prophets must have seemed like a strange and sudden flash on the scene; that try-hard band name conjuring up images of your best friend’s cousin’s group who were signed to Creation on one of Alan McGee’s whims. The truth is somewhat different. The Weather Prophets were actually formed following the messy end of The Loft, a promising group whose two singles, “Why Does The Rain” and “Up The Hill And Down The Slope” are still remembered fondly (and playlisted heavily) by those who know their mid-eighties indie.

Despite the fact he had an established platform to build on, it wouldn’t be unfair to suggest that the group’s lead singer Pete Astor was lucky, however. Fate seemed to slap him encouragingly on his leather trousered arse wherever he went in the mid-eighties. In 1984 Janice Long, at this point presenting an early evening show on Radio One, selected their single “Why Does The Rain” as one of her three favourite singles of the year, an unexpected boost for both the band and a tiny, cash-strapped label like Creation. Intriguingly, I’ve also never met anyone else who genuinely believes it to be in the top three best records released that year – but if you’re going to win those kind of wild plaudits with anyone, a national radio DJ is surely your best outcome.

Then in 1985, journalist Danny Kelly was at a football match where he met Peter Hadfield, the manager of Terry Hall’s new group The Colourfield. Kelly enthused about The Loft, and Hadfield wondered if they might be available to support his group on a major venue tour of the UK. No money changed hands, and sweet and simple arrangements were made to give The Loft a lift on to the professional circuit. As anyone who has ever been in a band will tell you, things seldom happen this easily without meetings, pluggers and expensive tour budgets being involved.

Despite all this, Astor was unhappy, feeling as if he had little in common with the rest of his group and mumbling to McGee and other parties that he didn’t see them as a long-term proposition. He eventually split them up live on stage at the Hammersmith Palais while supporting the Colourfield, a move some deemed legendary and others strangely cold. Vague insults were directed at other band members, and the whole thing drew to a messy close – two singles and endless love and good fortune later, the group were no more.

Astor decided before they even split that The Weather Prophets sounded like a good name for his next group, and they were up and running relatively swiftly, recording a radio session for the ever enthusiastic Janice Long before a single note was captured on vinyl. “Almost Prayed” featured on that debut session and McGee felt strongly it should be their first single, but numerous attempts to re-record it at other studios ended unsatisfactorily, with the group failing to capture the snap and spontaneity of the BBC session. Eventually, all concerned had to reluctantly lease the recording from the BBC for commercial release, though the text on the rear of the sleeve informing you of the fact is written in such a tiny font you might miss it.

There’s a simple reason both Creation and the band were a bit ashamed of this step. BBC sessions often differ from the finished product in many ways, but are usually more stripped back and basic. Fans of bands will often nudge those not in the know and tell them that actually, the John Peel session version of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” has a bite the single version didn’t, or that Microdisney’s Peel Session versions of the “Crooked Mile” era material punch more forcefully than the Lenny Kaye produced LP. Despite this, the suggestion that any polished, professional recording following a session simply wasn’t as good as the BBC’s quick efforts would be embarrassing for any up-and-coming band, especially one the major labels were keeping a close eye on. It carries suggestions of amateurism and an inability to hold it together as soon as the grown-ups leave the room.

The Weather Prophets would eventually re-record “Almost Prayed” for their debut major label album “Mayflower”, and sure enough, even with WEA’s money and time being spent on it, it remains feeble by comparison, as if the group have been asked to imagine the song being covered by Big Country. So what did producer Barry Andrews (no relation to the ex-XTC member) get right at Maida Vale that everyone else got wrong?

I wasn’t there obviously, but my suspicion is that “Almost Prayed” is one of those songs which gets duller, rather than shinier, the more you scrub it up. In its BBC form, it’s a thing of beauty, three minutes of simple indie-pop which jangles and thumps through Astor’s angst about the fluidity and unpredictability of life; the phrase “You can never go home again” given its best representation on 45. The song’s fuel comes from the almost folky simplicity of its hooks (you can imagine “I almost prayed” being murmured repeatedly at a folk night) and its directness. Place a mid-eighties production over that, and you’re smothering the track in padding when its bare bones need to be visible. Here is a song, after all, with limited chord structures and a simple swing which veers close to something approaching pop, but is ultimately too melancholy – it’s the sound of damp, drizzly nights spent by the coast attempting thought-walks, an introvert’s basic whistling tune. It’s not a daring, bold statement, which is what the band probably wanted their debut single to be, but it is strangely beautiful, which is all that matters in the long term.

So here it is... Merry Christmas

 

This will be the last blog entry until the absolute tail end of December, so myself (and Wayne Hussey and Noddy Holder above) would like to wish you a Merry Christmas. Thanks for reading the blog and I hope our journey from 1983 through to the middle of 1986 has been a pleasurable one - we started by dining on Goth Rock and the final specks of meat on the Oi! carcass, and have finished on Goth Rock, not by design, but by sheer luck... and if you thought Wayne Hussey wasn't remotely Christmassy, you'd obviously forgotten about the Metal Gurus above. Serendipity is our friend this Yuletide. 

I'm hugely grateful for everyone who has stuck around reading this year - you've been a loyal audience with barely any sign of dropping away - but this is still a fairly niche, obscure blog and it could really use a lift. If you like it and want to share the joy on social media, or better still want to link back to it from your own site, I'd really appreciate it. I do this for pleasure rather than any attempt to build a profile, but nonetheless having an influx of new readers would definitely spur me on throughout 2026.

At this risk of sounding like I'm doing an Alan Partridge/ Noel Edmonds styled address, there have been a small number of people over the last year who haven't enjoyed this blog, but (to my relief) almost all of the criticisms were pre-empted by the FAQ when I launched. Of course, nobody reads FAQs, so it's worth reiterating the fact that this blog can never function as a fansite. If you're a particular fan of a band or artist being covered, there may be moments when it gets frustrating because it feels as if I'm stating the obvious or even moving towards cliches, but that's for the benefit of all the people out there (non-UK readers in particular) who may never have heard a note of their work and just need some basic scene-setting. Once we've got that out of the way, I try, to the best of my ability, to try and find something new to say. Of course, if your favourite group didn't ever hit the Indie Number One spot, then you're really stuck in the land of pith (this pains me sometimes as well; I'd like to have written more about Felt and The Fall in particular, but neither group ever reached the top spot in the NME rundown). 

Here's a thought, though - in 2026, why not start your own blog? It's a dying hobby, but in these challenging times the world needs more enthusiasm and passion, in whatever form it comes. Be the change you want to see and give us all a better year. I want more things to read! See you again soon.

80. The Mission - Serpent's Kiss (Chapter 22)

Three weeks at number one from 14th June 1986

During my final year of sixth form college, I developed a slight crush on a goth girl in the year below (Cliche alert - I realise this isn’t remotely uncommon. Almost every male friend my age has suffered a similar predicament, and almost every female goth has had to toss away unwanted Valentines). Shamefully, I can’t remember her name for certain – which indicates that she obviously didn’t work her way into my affections to an unhealthy degree – but I can still remember how studiedly and absolutely she embodied ‘the look’, even getting angry when she ‘caught some sun’ and freckled her nose at an outdoor gig, ruining her pale skin plan. I also loved the confident way she played up to her dorkiness rather than trying to hide it under self-conscious posturing. She seemed friendly, quietly funny and unbelievably cool in a way almost everyone else I knew wasn’t.

I thought I’d kept my admiration for her on the downlow, but obviously not, because one night outside the local nightclub one of my friends drunkenly blurted out “Oi Dave, it’s that goth girl you fancy!” while she was within earshot. Clearly my poker face needed work. After she split with her unbelievably lanky, long-faced and permanently weary looking boyfriend, who it seemed had been her other half since birth, she awkwardly initiated further conversations with me and gave the impression she might be interested.

Reader, as I’m sure you’ve already gathered, it didn’t happen. I can’t remember the reasons, but her finding another suitor who was just more gothic than me was almost certainly the prime factor. I had something of a quiet aversion to the key things that made her world revolve, feigning interest whenever we spoke but probably never being able to successfully conceal my doubt. Some time before this, a friend or acquaintance gave me a C90 compilation tape of current goth sounds and I listened, trying to get to grips with it. By the thirtieth minute, I was bored shitless and realised I was never going to commit to a lifestyle that had so much dreary sludge as its soundtrack. 

Thanks to this blog, I’ve been thinking back to that sliding doors moment a lot lately, and wondering if maybe my friend did me – and goth in general – a disservice. He focused on the long, soporific aspects which leaned towards the seriously morbid and epic. While ploughing through the indie charts for this blog, I’ve been forced to remember that musically speaking, goth was actually a much broader genre than that, to the point of near-meaninglessness. Besides the punk originators (The Damned, Siouxsie And The Banshees) and their Batcave heirs, there were also groups who performed camp electronic nonsense (Alien Sex Fiend), arena-eyeing rock God goths (The Cult, Gene Loves Jezebel, *coughs* The Stone Roses) and also a bunch of groups I now think of as paisley bloused goths, adding loose-fitting hippydom to their sound (The Cure, The Bolshoi, All About Eve). These little sub-genres don’t necessarily always make sense or fit, and the groups I’ve mentioned tended to jump between them periodically, but they’ve helped me to make sense of a movement which stylistically sprawls in a number of directions.

This was perhaps demonstrated by Wayne Hussey and Andrew Eldritch's falling out while both were members of the Sisters of Mercy (which we’ve already covered in quite dramatic detail). One of the issues seemed to be that Eldritch had written new songs for the Sisters Of Mercy which were far too minimal for the rest of his group’s tastes, whereas Hussey’s were seen as too unusual. It’s not really clear how much of that eccentricity found its way into his subsequent group The Mission, but on the strength of their debut single “Serpent’s Kiss”, it would seem not much.

It starts predictably enough, filling your ears with dank guitar lines, wilted flowers and lyrics like “Ash on the carpet and dust on the mirror/ Chasing shadows and the dreaming comes clearer”, proving that Hussey had the poetry of his audience down pat. Where it suddenly shifts gear and shows its true colours – which aren’t entirely black – is in that zippy, celebratory chorus. “Screaming howl and the children play/ Serpents kiss for the words you pray” may be words which sound as if they need a reverberated steady backbeat and a gravelly vocal, but The Mission launch into them as if these child-bothering snakes are actually a good thing. It’s closer to Jim Morrison celebrating the dark arts with a forceful chorus than Bauhaus, shimmying and shaking its tight-trousered butt around the imagery rather than screaming about it.

Hussey, like Robert Smith, also gave the impression that taking the piss and even misleading the public was one of his motivations in life as well as trying to write great songs. When asked if he had “a type” when seeking out ladies, he responded with glee that his slogan could be “Wayne Hussey – he’s not fussy”. You can’t imagine Andrew Eldritch giving his game away so easily. The cheap and cheerful promo clip for “Serpent’s Kiss” is a thing of strange colour and joy too, filled with lipstick kisses from Uncle Wayne, while the group twirl multi-coloured umbrellas, and leap, lark and generally tit around in the country. Visually it has more in common with a Dukes of Stratosphear video than the rainy, rockist visuals which accompanied The Sisters “This Corrosion”.

79. The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again (Rough Trade)

One week at number one from 7th June 1986

“I'm not going to drag people down anymore. Everybody within this curious profession has to do their own thing, however obnoxious that may be. And nothing I can say is going to change that. Besides, I've too many enemies. It's quite distressing. It's a bit of a strain because one is welcome almost nowhere. I don't want to go to parties or go skiing with Spandau Ballet or anything but still it's become quite tiresome, this constant barrier of hate.” - Morrissey, Smash Hits, January 1985

“We're still at that stage where if I rescued a kitten from drowning, they'd say: 'Morrissey Mauls Kitten's Body'. So what can you do?" - Morrissey – NME, June 1986.

The Smiths opened 1985 with their signature single “How Soon Is Now?”, but it was a peculiar and somewhat understated year for them otherwise (certainly in singles chart terms). “Shakespeare’s Sister”, that odd stepchild of a single, arguably over-performed sales-wise, but “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore” failed to reach the Top 40 at all, and despite its exquisite warmth, the return-to-form effort “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side” didn’t push them back into the Top 20 either.

It’s impossible for us to guess at how Morrissey truly felt about his continued role as an antagonist and tormentor of the old New Romantics, although I suspect he privately enjoyed it; in other words, I’m reading the two quotes at the start of this entry as being so tongue in cheek that they’re in danger of disfiguring the side of his face. The Smiths were the kings of the IPC music press, adored by most of the groups in their royal orbit, and Morrissey was frequently overly generous with praise where his direct peers were concerned (unless you truly believe Raymonde, Easterhouse and Terry & Gerry were cruelly overlooked superstars at the time). The people he reserved his tongue-lashings for were the Proper Pop Stars – the beautiful boys and girls in Smash Hits who were unlikely to be backstage at a Smiths show. Slagging off Modern Romance and Duran Duran must have been a fairly risk-free endeavour, rather than making Morrissey the Larry David of rock.

What undoubtedly hurt Morrissey, however, was his status as a mere cult figure. It’s addressed on “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side”, and his continued complaints about the group’s fringe status in interviews are notable. There was never a hint of staged angst, nor frequently any clever wordplay, when he came to the subject of the group’s marginal status in interviews. Despite the success of the “Meat Is Murder” album, Morrissey was not one to ignore the importance or the cultural impact of the singles chart or daytime radio play. Why be Al Stewart when you could be Marc Bolan?

Or even – why be T Rex when you could be The Rolling Stones? The groundwork for “Bigmouth Strikes Again” was laid by Johnny Marr whose initial riff was inspired by “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” before the lyrics were handled by Morrissey. It’s the first single since “William, It Was Really Nothing” to have a significant spike to it, a brio and a hook which screams in your face. Morrissey plays the wounded victim, but this time it’s very clearly for comedic effect. In fact, the lines “Sweetness I was only joking when I said/ By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed” are almost too obvious, too try-hard – a protesting wail from an end-of-pier farce. The follow-up lines “Now I know how Joan of Arc felt/ As the flames rose to her Roman nose/ And her Walkman started to melt” are better, showing that however immediate “Bigmouth” wanted to be, he still had a keen sense of the absurd.

Behind him, Marr and the group play furiously. Marr’s guitar lines are an intricate, speedy rush as always, but it’s Mike Joyce who has one of the best moments on the record – the staccato rattling of his drums during the instrumental break sounding (unintentionally?) like the soundtrack to Billy Liar imagining himself machine-gunning another foe.

In fact, the whole damn thing is very Billy Liar-esque, Morrissey setting himself up as a comedic stooge rather than a wounded artiste – it suits him surprisingly well to be the self-parodying foil to the track as opposed to the unrecognised genius. The song itself, meanwhile, hammers and smashes in a way which almost recalls the height of glam rock.

78. We've Got A Fuzzbox And We're Gonna Use It - Rules and Regulations (Vindaloo)

Number one for five weeks from 3rd May 1986

“Some people do think we’re stupid, but that’s quite understandable really, isn’t it? I can’t think why people would want to come and see us” – Vicky, Record Mirror, May 1986.

“I’ve got this theory that we’re actually providing employment, because if we can’t play our instruments very well, we have to employ other people, like orchestras, to come and do it. So in fact, it’s quite politically and ideologically sound not to be able to play very well.” – Mags, Record Mirror, February 1987

Those two quotes, taken nine months apart, probably say more about Fuzzbox (and their attitude to the world and the music business) than anything I could possibly throw at my keyboard for the next few hours. It’s no wonder some music journalists found them infuriating – it was the job of the eighties rock press to peddle the idea that music has importance in either a technical or “revolutionary” way; if a record isn’t competently or artfully performed, then it should be offending someone in its attempts to rebel (usually parents, the powers-that-be or “the straights”).

We’ve Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Going To Use It (we’ll call them Fuzzbox after this point; they chose that abbreviated name for themselves eventually anyway) fitted the bill in theory. The “Rules And Regulations” EP was their debut release on Robert Lloyd’s Vindaloo Records, and lead track “XX Sex” was, beneath its chaotically fuzzy clatter, straightforwardly political. “XX sex sex gets ex-exploited” they chant, referencing page three girls and ranting “Cookery and hookery/ Exploit desolation and isolation”. If Huggy Bear had released that one in 1993, nobody would have questioned it – they sound similar enough, with only Vicky’s surprisingly clear and powerful post-punk vocals setting them apart (she's the only conventional musical talent evident on the track).

Title track “Rules and Regulations”, however, was the one with the home-made promo video which ended up picking up most of the airplay, and continued the usual punkish themes of a bleak pre-mapped journey through life, including workplace alienation, and the obviously feminist reference to a husband who “tied you down so you’re housebound”. It’s the ace on the EP, containing pounding drums without the use of metalwork, a central buzzing riff, and a chorus chant which isn’t a thousand miles away from Adam Ant, but taken as a whole, it clearly owes much more significant debts to The Slits and X Ray Spex.

When journalists saw the promotional photographs of Fuzzbox with brightly coloured, electrified hair and thickly made up faces, they must have already written their articles before interviewing the group or getting any quotes. It seemed a simple case; more punk rock, more anarchy, angry young women desperate to be heard in a society which hadn’t given them a voice…

And yet Fuzzbox usually didn’t want to be drawn. They were too busy having fun. They openly sniggered on stage and gurned in their videos. Their politics were left-leaning, perhaps not atypically for an eighties band from a major industrial city like Birmingham, but they clearly hadn’t pored over Sociology textbooks seeking to justify their views to journalists; Easterhouse they weren’t. They had a tendency to regard themselves as ridiculous as the world they inhabited, and were far enough away from the initial impact of punk rock to be able to use bright hair dye and super strength hairspray and seem cartoonish, rather than menaces to society.

And yet – there was something strangely exciting and confrontational about all this anyway. Four women who were self-confessed musical amateurs, making a noise like that and having FUN, not attempting to justify their mere existence to the rock press? The very thought seemed powerful enough to propel this EP up the official national charts so that it peaked just one space clear of the National Top 40 – and only two spaces away from Freddie Mercury’s latest single - despite being released on a tiny indie label set up by the lead singer of The Nightingales (it’s notable that when Robert Lloyd decided to finance this initial release, some friends assumed he was having a mental crisis).

77. New Order - Shellshock (Factory)

Four weeks at number one from 5th April 1986

After four successive indie number ones from bands who had never graced the top spot before, here we are, back with the big boys on terra firma, gazing with wonder at their luxurious Peter Savile sleeves. Right from the start of this blog, New Order have had a dominant presence, scoring the eighth number one with “Everything’s Gone Green” then afterwards failing to reach the top (with a non-import release) only once.

Both they and Depeche Mode have been the two constant presences throughout, and that throws us a distinct challenge; whereas Depeche grew up in public and reacted against their earliest material in some interesting – and very occasionally misguided – ways, New Order eventually became (and indeed remain) comparatively staid fellows on vinyl. Dressing up games and intense, friendly interviews with the media were not their thing; the group’s lack of tolerance for the latter was summed up neatly when Peter Hook roared with laughter at an innocent business question following the collapse of Factory, then said “You journalists. You think you know it all”.

What that leaves us with is the recorded evidence and its gentle, unforced evolution (yeah, I know - the fiends) and also the reaction from outside their fanbase, which tended to vary from bowled over (“Blue Monday”) to frankly indifferent – their previous single “Sub-Culture” failed to even get inside the National Top 60.

“Shellshock” marks something of an about-turn in their declining commercial performance. Possibly helped by its appearance in the “Pretty In Pink” soundtrack and the fact that it wasn’t available on any other album, the single returned them to the Sunday chart rundown with a number 28 peak. Perhaps mindful of the fact that they’d pushed the twitch and groove of modern club music into the background of their more recent singles, they collaborated with producer John Robie whose 1983 club hit “One More Shot” they had admired.

It subsequently becomes the basis for “Shellshock” without a single riff being wholly lifted; but its ghost is there in that jerky, propulsive beat, in the continued sense of peril and danger (though it eschews the broken glass noises, which perhaps felt as if they were tempting fate on the dancefloor). The cries of “One! More! Shot!” get replaced by the blare of “Shellshock!” and the track stammers into life, introducing the symphonic touches New Order were always compelled to use when they were at their most ambitious. Picked strings meet autumnal, world-weary melodies, thrashed guitars, a stuttering drum machine and one of their most powerful and purposeful choruses in a long time. While I prefer the “Substance” edit of the 12 inch for taking the correct decision to cut the most hesitant verse and leave it on the studio floor, ten minutes doesn’t necessarily feel too long for this track. It has enough drama and enough of a groove to hold its own.

What it also has throughout is a noticeable itchiness and irritation. New Order singles were very often led by Sumner sulking about life’s personal disappointments like a moping child – a tendency some critics were keen to mock. “Shellshock” positively bristles, though, with Sumner discovering he can actually growl. Listen to the almost Jon Bon Jovi-esque snarl of “Another day goes by and ALL I do is cry”, or the finger-stabbing delivery of “All I get from YOU is Shellshock”. This isn’t an insolent, murmured objection behind the privacy of a closed bedroom door. It’s the sound of a tin can being hurled down the street, a young adult man’s stomp loud enough to get the neighbour’s curtains twitching.

76. Half Man Half Biscuit - The Trumpton Riots (Probe Plus)

Two weeks at number one from 22nd March 1986

If you love neatly splicing things into sub-genres, and you feel very strongly that groups and artists have clear "neighbourhoods" which cannot be disputed, here’s where things get awkward. Way back at the end of 1984, The Toy Dolls climbed to number one in the indie charts with “Nellie The Elephant”. Not only was that the last major punk hit in the National Charts, I was also going to argue that it was the last big gasp of the Punk Pathetique sub-genre of Oi! Except…

There are critics and punk fans out there who will argue that Half Man Half Biscuit are part of that Gary Bushell adjacent patch. I can’t find any evidence to suggest that the group referred to themselves as such, but even if they didn’t, these views exist. The counter-claims against them are obviously numerous; the differences between The Toy Dolls, The Test Tube Babies, Splodgenessabounds and Half Man Half Biscuit couldn’t be more obvious. The Splodges looked quite striking in their own way, but indulged in facile dingbattery. The Dolls were/are hyper, whacky, squeaky and cartoonish, overgrown excitable children kicking each other’s tricycles whose handlebars were smeared in melted chocolate. 

HMHB, on the other hand, were – and are – another prospect altogether. Dour, scruffy, despondent, moping and despairing they may have been, but they often churned out comedic lyrical phrases which seemed anything but lazy and effortless. Their debut album “Back In The DHSS” was a shambling cornucopia of observations about children’s television, ageing comic actors (Bob Todd) and “Give Us A Clue” approved national treasures (Nerys Hughes, Una Stubbs, Lionel Blair), spliffs and snooker referees (Len Gangley). Punk Pathetique? I'd argue their styles and methods bore more resemblance to their fellow city-dwellers and beat poets The Liverpool Scene (give "Baby" a virtual spin to get the idea). 

The album was recorded as the test-run of a new eight-track facility in Liverpool where Nigel Blackwell worked as a caretaker following seven years of unemployment. “The caretaker’s band”, as they were somewhat disparagingly known by his colleagues, were allowed to give the desk its first dummy run and the album was recorded for the mate’s rate of £40. They handed the resulting tape around to record companies more in hope than expectation; Factory Records politely and predictably passed on it, but local record store Probe picked it up for their backroom label.

“Back In The DHSS” has a slightly rushed, demo-level sound as a result of its thrifty beginnings, but that only works in its favour. The underproduced sounds collide perfectly with lyrics which provide endless hints to Blackwell’s lifestyle (and possibly the band’s) – his world is one of front room televisions being switched on in the daytime at the height of summer, the heavy curtains fully drawn to stop the sun’s rude interruptions. Spliff and tobacco smoke hang in the air, while he sits on a pouffe passively absorbing the day’s televisual offerings, occasionally getting frustrated but feeling too powerless and groggy to even change the station. Trumpton comes on. He laughs his first stoned giggle of the day, imagining the central characters to be dabbling with drugs. We've all been there. 

As a result, the album felt as if it accidentally found three target markets – students, the unemployed, and stoners. All were able to recognise themselves in these beaten-up novelty folk-punk ditties, able to not only laugh along but rub their eyes in despair. Here’s where the punk pathetique comparisons fall apart; The Toy Dolls and Splodgenessabounds were celebrations of stupidity and passive consumption. HMHB seemed, consciously or otherwise, to be wanting to walk away from it but found they were snookered at every turn, empty-pocketed prisoners to the worst of eighties light entertainment culture.

They were also strangely obsessed with the gentle stop-motion children’s programme “Trumpton”, which besides forming part of the album in “Time Flies By (When You’re The Driver Of A Train)” (“speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine”) now became the backdrop to their debut single “The Trumpton Riots”. In many respects, it’s more of the same, except perhaps even more lo-fi. 

75. Shop Assistants - Safety Net (53rd and 3rd)

Three weeks at number one from 1st March 1986

At the time of writing this, I’m ploughing through Justin Lewis’s marvellous book “Into The Groove”, which performs the unenviable job of trying to tie together the hundreds of narratives around eighties music. How you remember the decade probably depends an awful lot on a wide variety of factors besides the big headline events – how old you were, where you lived, how much money you had, and ultimately what mattered to you most; the microscopic silk threads that weave in a dizzying number of directions. 

It’s not that the eighties is the decade where audience fragmentation becomes the norm, but you can just about see the 21st Century and its cornucopia of unmixed, niche experiences on the horizon. Underground and DIY movements, started by people with perhaps more ideas than financial sense, and invisible to most but their small target audiences, began to feel more viable. For club music, urban pirate stations cropped up which were avidly followed by those in the know, creating surprise hit singles for artists nobody in the mainstream media (apart from the likes of James Hamilton) were writing about. Numerous low-budget indie labels, fanzines and club nights also popped up, all collectively pushing a roughly shared agenda and creating a scene which could see a good single by a relatively new band selling 10,000 copies with only minimal bites of mainstream exposure.

Amidst the avalanche of short-lived indie labels around the period, 53rd and 3rd is one which seldom seems to get written about, despite having an enormous cultural clout for a couple of years, almost exclusively releasing records by the kind of groups we would refer to as “indiepop” these days (and far ahead of bigger cult labels like Sarah Records).

Launched in Scotland in 1985 with Stephen McRobbie (of The Pastels), David Keegan (of The Shop Assistants) and Sandy McLean (of early indie Fast Product) running affairs, their sleeves were amateurish and none-more-indie, usually consisting of smudged designs in two colours. The contents inside matched the artwork, being simple, frequently fey, cheaply recorded and sometimes scratchy pop tunes performed by usually very young or naive bands. Their roster, if you could call it that, is essentially everyone any self-respecting indie kid of the era has heard of; Talulah Gosh, BMX Bandits, The Vaselines, The Pooh Sticks and Beat Happening all at least passed through. Their catalogue numbers usually began with AGARR, which stood for “As Good As Ramones Records”, thereby solidly etching a firm ambition on all their output, right in the middle of the run-out grooves.

For Stephen McRobbie aka Stephen Pastel, the enterprise might have been motivated by his recent experiences on Creation Records (although we’d have to ask him). His group had recently been booted off the label alongside a number of others during an Alan McGee organised clear-out, partly motivated by criticisms from his artists about what the label now represented and how he was handling their affairs. If Creation had once seemed like a convenient safehouse for oddballs and mavericks, the artists residing there had perhaps not appreciated how ambitious McGee truly was, which became only too apparent during the Jesus & Mary Chain’s first run of success. He suddenly stopped being the over-excitable man who folded single sleeves with his friends and associates until the early morning, and instead became a sunglasses-at-night wannabe McLaren figure.

53rd and 3rd backed completely away from grand statements and kept themselves firmly on the amateur side of the street. Despite this, their first release “Safety Net” quickly climbed to the top of the indie charts, and unlike The Sisterhood or Easterhouse before it, remained there for more than one token week, far above the current Depeche Mode single “Stripped” and also outpacing new contenders such as The Wedding Present and The Mighty Lemon Drops. 

It was, despite their amateur aesthetic, a strong opening statement for the label. The Shop Assistants had been slowly building up an audience since 1984 with releases on various labels, and their previous single “Shopping Parade” had peaked at number 3 in the indie listings. The group – a mixed gender quintet – had also spent some of 1985 benefitting from national support slots with Jesus & Mary Chain, bringing them to much larger audiences than they would have experienced had they been stuck on pub bills with the Jasmine Minks or A Witness. On top of that, their work and live shows were cut through with a bonhomie which didn’t seem fake; without seemingly even trying, their interviews, video clips and even the records themselves made them sound like a joyful gang of people who could be your new best friends. In underground circles, where bands toured the country bumping into the same fanatical individuals in Norwich, Leeds and Bristol, that mattered. There was a sense of belonging. 

If you were so minded, you could see “Safety Net” as being a very cynical move as a result. “Lucky you’ve a safety net/ lucky you’ve somewhere to go,” the song begins. The indiepop community was by this point becoming tight and solid friendships were forming – like most small music based cults, it contained people who may only have had a few slabs of vinyl and a surplus of idealism in common, but that seemed like enough to forge lasting bonds. The opening lines, then, could be addressed to the “lucky people” in the audience. “Afraid of dying and afraid of life/ But wishing we could stand around the stars again,” lead singer Alex Taylor sings again later on, addressing the simultaneous neuroses and child-like wonder of a lot of their fans.

It would be harsh to call it calculated, though. Musically, it’s poppy and sweet but undercut by the thorny scrape of cheap guitars and a bare, Mary Chain-esque backbeat. It couldn’t be trying less hard. If it’s an anthem, I’d argue it gets there by chance rather than strategic manoeuvres, purely by sharing themes common to twenty-somethings in an increasingly harsh economic environment.

74. The Sisterhood - Giving Ground (Merciful Release)

One week at number one on w/e 22^nd February 1986

When we last visited the NME Indie Number One spot, we bore witness to a group riding the wave of some arguably unjustified hype with a nonetheless marvellous single. If Easterhouse have since become largely forgotten, nobody could fairly begrudge them their one moment in the sun. “Giving Ground”, on the other hand, is a bird of a different feather, a one-off indie hit created through gossip and confusion with some of the public potentially not understanding who the group even were.

The Sisters Of Mercy began to have some serious wobbles while recording their second (aborted) album, the prophetically and provisionally titled “Left On Mission And Revenge”. Guitarist Wayne Hussey offered a series of songs to Andrew Eldritch for potential inclusion, all of which were promptly rejected by either Eldritch or guitarist Craig Adams. Eldritch then put forward his minimal ideas, one of which, according to Hussey, consisted of just one chord. Adams and Hussey promptly left the group due to the usual (and in this case not inaccurate) claim of “musical differences”, and formed their own group The Sisterhood, announcing their plans to the music press and releasing news of a forthcoming live show and radio session with Janice Long.

Eldritch, however, was rattled by this, seeing the name The Sisterhood as a deliberate continuation of The Sisters of Mercy brand, which all parties had agreed not to use after the group’s dissolution. As a result, he considered his limited options, and decided to put a single out using that band name himself – later stating in Melody Maker that they “patently had to be stopped. And when they wanted to be called the Sisterhood, there was nothing I could do but be the Sisterhood before them – the only way to kill that name was to use it, then kill it.”

He promptly registered a company under the name and spent five days recording the single “Giving Ground”, playing all the instruments himself and giving lead vocal duties to recent Merciful Release signing James Ray (of James Ray & The Performance) to avoid any contractual complications.

Meanwhile, Hussey and Adams were left at a sticky wicket, and had to record their Radio One session under the ungainly pub rock name The Wayne Hussey and Craig Adams Band, reverting to the name The Mission at the end of February. Eldritch responded with a press release stating “We assume that their choice of name is entirely unconnected with the forthcoming Andrew Eldritch album that for some months has had the working title ‘Left on Mission and Revenge’”. This might have suggested further legal brouhaha was to follow, but fortunately the bickering stopped there (in public at least; Hussey has since said that various solicitor’s letters still circulated in private).

This soap opera played out in the press and on the airwaves across a number of weeks, and gave both parties more gossip column and news section inches than they would ordinarily receive – for some reason, there is little music fans enjoy more than two stubborn, egocentric band members at loggerheads with each other. Such things are usually the preserve of rock monsters rather than cult goth bands who had yet to score a single hit, but the subsequent publicity seemed to drive fans into record stores out of curiosity. As well as those swept along by the press, there may also have been a few confused fans in the mix who thought they were buying Hussey’s new record due to his earlier announcement.

And what were these unfortunate souls getting for their money? Not much. “Giving Ground” suffers from being a rushed creation recorded with a strategy, rather than a strong creative outcome, in mind. Opening with a minute of Numanoid synths before introducing a somewhat tedious bassline and basic drum machine track, it takes an indulgent two minutes to bring Ray’s vocals properly into the mix, which are hesitant and slightly too bright, failing to sell the idea (such as it is). The song then spends seven-and-a-half minutes going nowhere in particular. You wait and wait for something to emerge – a chorus, a change of mood, a rush of adrenalin or fury, or even some ambience - but the track bumps along the seabed, a flatulent seacow mooing along a dull, non-divergent course.

73. Easterhouse - Whistling In The Dark (Rough Trade)

One week at number one from 15th February 1986

Regardless of their claims otherwise, the “serious” music press have always been just as susceptible to hype as glossy teen magazines. Unlike Smash Hits and their metaphorical "dumper", however, they have often been more coy about their failings, crowing about their successes while hastily burying their dud predictions. The itinerary of NME hopefuls whose subsequent careers were either cruelly brief or never got off the ground is long; from Department S to Gay Dad to Terris to Brother (all of whom were cover stars) sometimes it's been hard not to wince at the risky long shots or desperate decisions.

As 1985 drew to a close, Easterhouse began to be sold as a solid proposition. Formed by brothers Ivor and Andy Perry in 1982, their credentials were impeccable – the group's association with The Smiths was strong, beginning with a Manchester support slot in 1983, and Morrissey and Marr had loudly proclaimed their brilliance to anyone willing to listen. The band also gave socialist diatribes to a music press happy to run over the word count for such things, and their first two Martin Hannett produced singles on London Records, while poor sellers, indicated a charged yet serious band.

Despite having all these credits on their side, London Records didn’t feel it was worth the effort investing further and dropped them, leaving them to be rescued by Rough Trade where, somewhat miraculously, the press enthusiasm continued unabated. One listen to “Whistling In The Dark” gives the game away as to why; this is an incredibly good and staggeringly robust record. It opens on a swinging Motown beat which subsequently dominates throughout, but that beat is augmented with hard, heavy guitar sounds – walloped metallic bass lines meet rhythm guitar lines which sound as if they’re echoing around a steelworks. “Let’s get to the point/ Get to the heart of it” bellows Andy Perry at the start, making it immediately clear that this was a band for whom toughness and directness were seen as virtues.

In a world where a band’s presence in the indie charts increasingly meant either deeply experimental music or delicate whimsy (or in the case of the Cocteau Twins, both) “Whistling” suggests that the powerful ideas birthed by punk rock weren’t necessarily exhausted. The music press were quick to suggest that Easterhouse may be Rough Trade’s Clash to The Smiths’ Pistols as a result, but in reality the bark and swing of the track feels as if it owes a bigger debt to The Jam; there’s the same strident, hectoring edge combined with a muscular but nonetheless irresistible delivery. 

Just when you think the track has shot its load and made its point, the final few moments turn out to be among the finest – “Don’t get caught the same way twice/ You give them money for old rage” yells Perry and the group completely let loose, thrashing, jangling and upping the dynamism past the point you thought it possible for them to go. It is, in short, a fine single and one I still play to this day.

Despite this, Easterhouse’s problem in the long term was multi-faceted. Firstly, a straightforward political punk revival clearly wasn't going to happen; even Paul Weller didn't want his records to sound like The Jam by this point. Besides that, the mid-eighties were a confused period in the music business, and nobody at either Rough Trade or any of the major labels seemed to effectively predict the way the wind was blowing. One of the common bets being placed by journalists and A&R reps was that if alternative music was going to crossover, it was going to have to adopt mainstream arena rock's production values and delivery. Throughout 1986 and slightly beyond, groups such as Goodbye Mr Mackenzie and Love And Money took the attitude and the sound of the alternative sector but turned their noise on vinyl into something airbrushed, vast and blown out. In the mid-eighties, any indie band getting signed to a major may have ended up sounding faintly like Big Country or Simple Minds in the end.

1986

Well, what other image did you want me to use to illustrate this entry? British Alternative music in 1986 was, after all, synonymous with the NME’s C86 cassette – a ragbag of independent sounds ranging from the unapologetically light-hearted, cheap and jangly (and some would also argue “twee”) to the utterly demented and Beefheart influenced. From Byrds approximations on your kid brother’s Argos catalogue guitar followed by A Witness thrashing discords and screaming hysterically about sharpened sticks and then early Grebo, the tape was a rather broader tent than it’s often given credit for. 

It’s been reissued on vinyl and CD numerous times since and eventually became shorthand for a certain kind of sound (generally the indiepop end of the spectrum), though rival music magazines to the NME preferred other labels; Record Mirror, for example, slightly sneeringly but consistently called many of the artistes “shambling bands”.

C86 is really only half the story, though. The tape didn’t emerge until May, and while the NME were happy to brag about their ability to underline the best DIY and homebrew talents across the land, it took a while for that hype to sink in. The first half of the 1986 indie charts therefore feel, in places, like a continuation of the year before; lots of earnestness, angularity and anarchic noise dominates, though the likes of the Wedding Present, June Brides and The Shop Assistants put in early bids for the near future.

Goth rock also sweeps its way right across the charts like a thick, black housepaint brush through the year, with the old hands continuing their schtick while forceful newcomers such as The Mission and Fields Of Nephilim emerge who would make more significant commercial breakthroughs. Their close cousins in the Industrial movement also shouldn’t be entirely dismissed; they don’t cross over at this stage, but they certainly make their presence felt.

Above all, though, to me 1986 feels like the first chart year I completely understand. Listening to the playlist on the right hand side of this page (more than 100 songs long, so please do click through to Spotify) I’m whisked back to John Peel playing on the kitchen radio, ten second snippets of fascinating noise appearing on the Chart Show Indie Chart rundown on Channel 4, and the music press featuring pictures of dorky kids with guitars strapped across their chunky jumpers. I can almost smell the ferric tape as I pop another cassette into the stereo to record a known favourite off late night radio. For me, this is where things start to get really interesting. For others among you, it may possibly act as a jumping off point. 

It will also become noticeable just how much competition there now is for the number one spot in the indie charts. Whereas previous years have sometimes felt like a coronation exercise for the half a dozen crossover artists who dominated at any given time, now it's thrown wide open for excitable newcomers on tiny bedroom labels, as well as the New Orders, Depeche Modes and Cocteau Twins of this world.

As for 1985, let’s wave goodbye with one last look at the playlist below. 

(If you're struggling to access them due to Spotify's strange "upstream" issues, the 1985 playlist can be found here, whereas the 1986 one is here).