111. Bomb The Bass - Beat Dis (Rhythm King)

Three weeks at number one from 27th February 1988

“This? Is this what people are listening to now? A record with a bleeping digital watch as the chorus? Jesus Christ… the whole thing’s like being trapped in an amusement arcade. It’s awful, I give up, you’ve all gone bloody mad.” - my mother hearing “Beat Dis” for the first time, 1988.

I was absolutely fascinated by that reaction when this record first came out. To me, “Beat Dis” was exciting but hardly felt radical at the time – since “Pump Up The Volume” topped the charts in 1987, the floodgates opened for House records featuring bold and hyperactive samples to not only get released, but actually sell in huge quantities. There was an urgency and propulsion to this record which seemed thrilling at the time, but didn’t actually feel odd or alienating; rather, it seemed like a continuation of a busy, current trend.

If you were of an older generation who hadn’t been paying close attention to the charts, though, and had your dial permanently glued to Radio Two, I now realise that this entering the national charts at number five must have felt inexplicable; even with punk rock and the artier edges of glam, hit singles prior to this still had a logic and a flow which didn’t depart hugely from the golden rules of pop – namely, that choruses must at least try to be memorable and verses must flow obviously and make logical sense. The arrival of synth-pop at the tail end of the seventies did push these boundaries a little further (for instance, “O Superman” really upsets the apple cart) but in general, proper hit singles, and even cult hit singles, adhered to some fairly basic structural rules.

One reason I found the late eighties House uprising so fascinating as a teen is that it had no time for Denmark Street or Tin Pan Alley melodies (unless it was sampling them in five second bites). The groove was everything. What you did on top of that groove was up to you. It could be not much at all, and that’s the option many DJs and artists took, favouring stark minimalism with a gentle seasoning of samples and airy synth washes. Others, however, didn’t know when to stop and loaded the sample gun with everything they’d heard that week and pressed “fire” over the beat, blasting in with a series of tenuously related soundbites and hooks.

“Beat Dis” is firmly in the latter camp. It interrupts constantly with source material as wide as Thunderbirds, Bob Prescott’s absurd “Cartoons In Stereo” album, stereo sound test records, Jayne Mansfield giggling, Disney stories, as well as the obvious candidates – Public Enemy, Kurtis Blow, Afrikaa Bambaataa, Indeep’s “Last Night A DJ Saved My Life”. In common with “Pump Up The Volume”, each sampled snatch eventually etches itself so much into your brain that it feels like a strange hook in itself; I can’t hear Bob Prescott saying “You play Russian Roulette this way” in my mind without hearing a twittering, chattering rhythm beneath it.

Nonetheless, on first listen it’s pretty overwhelming, a riot of speech, scratching, jittery melodies and impatient, forceful dustbin lid rhythms smacking you in the face. My mother was right. It is – kind of – like playing an arcade game on Southend seafront in 1988 and trying to hear the music and noise of the machine you’re focusing on against the attention seeking clarion calls of the others. As a teen, I found that idea thrilling, though.

What’s also fascinating about “Beat Dis” is that for all its freshness, the choice of samples was unbelievably antiquated. I suspect part of this was due to ease of use; it’s much more straightforward to drop in a speech sample from an old sound effects record than it is to isolate vocals from another piece of music, and these discs could very easily be found in stores like Music and Video Exchange for very little money. It was also partly due to the fetishisation of sixties and seventies ideas in clubland at this point too, which might (arguably!) have bled over from the psychedelic Alice In Wonderland events people like Richard Norris were involved with before moving to Shoom.

“Beat Dis” therefore becomes this sweet and sour cocktail of the old and the new, the furiously modern and the old; a black and white land of perfect on-mic pronunciation being thieved, pulled out of context and buried beneath noise. To older generations, it may even have sounded like sacrilege – the fondly remembered past being combined with a present sound they barely understood. I personally loved its pure energy at the time but don’t tend to gravitate towards it as much now; it has the formula of “Pump Up The Volume” but none of the space, grace and patience. In short, I have to be in the right mood.

100. Soup Dragons - Can't Take No More (Raw TV)

Five weeks at number one from 27th June 1987

When I started writing this blog, I did idly wonder what the hundredth number one might be, and promised myself that I wouldn’t draft a full list in advance and project ahead. That would spoil the beezer surprise for me, after all – supposing it’s a really appropriate, “era defining” classic? Or, even better than that, something the indie-kids would get agitated about; an Erasure single, perhaps, or one of the many Rhythm King releases that dominated the late eighties? What would that co(s)mic event tell us?

In reality, and at the risk of sounding like Hannah Fry, sequential numbers don’t care much about your preferred narratives. Just as nothing exciting happened when your car’s mileometer hit 5,000, and you just passed a boarded up carpet store rather than the Angel of the North or the house of the first person you ever loved, centenaries occur just because eventually they have to. The law of sequences demands it, and whether they coincide with something memorable depends entirely on the way the coin lands that day (go and look up the 100th Official UK Number One and you’ll see what I mean. I’ve been told the answer to that one before, many times, but I still have to keep reminding myself).

Back in 1987 though, The Soup Dragons taking the crown at this point would have felt somewhat appropriate, even though I can’t remember anyone noting it. While the start of their career saw them regarded as another one of those cheap and cheeky C86 acts, all fizz and charm, and the tail end saw them cast as bandwagon-hopping chancers, there was a brief sunlit period where they were critically lauded as the next big cult thing. Front page magazine shoots were gained, a highly reputable manager swept in to guide them, and a serious buzz emerged.

“Can’t Take No More” landed at the apex of all the fuss, and became their first single to enter the national Top 75. At this point, the group were still playing true to their roots, and the promotion around it was misleadingly low-key – The Chart Show played the accompanying video a few times, making a big deal of the fact that it was shot by the group for £80, tactfully ignoring the backing they had at this point.

The song itself is actually the third slam-dunk in a row for the band, following both “Hang Ten” and “Head Gone Astray” into some kind of scratchy indie heaven. The three singles are markedly different from each other yet still, amazingly, identifiable as Soups product. “Hang Ten” stays true to their C86 roots and serves up two minutes of exhilarating rattle and roll, while “Head Gone Astray” is somehow punky yet beautiful jangle pop, and then “Can’t Take No More” is a stranger beast still – shouty, stammering, always evolving then collapsing again, and downright furious about the inconsistencies and wrongdoings of a significant other. “Your attitude always ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes/ like the weather!” rants Sean Dickson angrily, while staccato drumbeats and distorted guitars follow him behind.

It could choose to all be over in two minutes like “Hang Ten”, but instead it twists and evolves, featuring shimmering guitar breakdowns and taunting, childlike “na na na” vocalisations, before finishing on an ear-splitting electric organ break. It’s almost as if the group had two possible objectives, either a track akin to The Who’s “I Can See For Miles”, or a Slade styled rave-up, and decided to go for both at once, but keep the production and the presentation raw and cheap.

It’s easy to attempt something like this and come back with something perfectly listenable but ultimately insubstantial – thousands of low-key indie bands have done just that – but they channel so much adrenalin and frustration into one three minute single they manage to make the listener feel both peppy and disorientated at the same time. Elements of this, particularly the sharper and more discordant aspects, sound as if they would have slotted very neatly alongside some of the groups emerging out of the USA in a year or two’s time; Black Francis, for one, seems as if he might have appreciated it. Far from staying true to this indie era’s dominant idea that singles should be cheap, raw and simple, the Soups bounce and ricochet off the walls in ways which aren’t immediately predictable (the disorientating psychedelic dizziness of the latter half of each verse is interesting and proof they were already operating in a different territory to either The Wedding Presents or Bodines of this world).